Teenage Problems/What to do?
Okay, well... I'm 20, and my boyfriend Paul is 22. Him and I have been together for a little over 3 years, and he lives with my mom and I. My mom agreed to let him move in last year around this time because his father is a drunk and would verbally abuse him constantly and smack him around when he was drunk. One time he came over my house with a nasty black eye and marks all over him and my mom offered to let him move in because she knows he's a good kid. Honestly, we would move out but him and I are both full time students and cannot afford it right now. He pays her rent, and he's really helpful around the house. He does all of the yard work for us, cleans up around the house and helps take care of our animals.
Him and I share a room and my mom knows that we have sex, and while she doesn't love it, she knows that we're safe about it. He is my first and only and him and I are probably going to get married someday. My mom and I have discussed this topic and she says that she knows she can't stop it from happening, but to just "be careful." Anyways, (sorry to be blunt) I'm sort of into light sub/dom kind of stuff; I like being dominated and pushed around a bit. We don't get too into it, though. No tying up anyone or anything. But Paul sent me an... Inappropriate text... At one point, and my phone screen turns on when I get a text. My phone was on the table and my mom saw. The text included him talking about his hand around my neck and he called me some really inappropriate things. My mom lost it, saying how demeaning that is to me, letting him do/say all that stuff. I told her that I encourage it and it's fine. Those names that he calls me stay in the bedroom. He is a sweetheart and he would never call me anything disrespectful unless it is in the bedroom and I'm okay with it. He's very respectful of me, but the bedroom is different than the rest of the time but she doesn't get it. She is very angry and I can't seem to calm her down about it. I don't want her saying anything to Paul because... Awkward... What do I do?
All you can do is talk to your mom and let her know what you've told her before. It's only bedroom talk when you two are in the moment. However, he would never speak to you like that outside of the bedroom. Also, try to keep your phone out of your mother's sight. Ask her not to mention anything to Paul because it would probably be embarrassing. Assure her that he's not like that outside the bedroom and you would never tolerate it. If comfortable, you could tell her that it's just kinky bedroom talk and that's all. She's your mom so it's going to take her some time to get over that. So, just give her time. After all, you are her daughter and I can understand why she feels the way that she does and you should too.