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Teenage Problems/Dealing with Apathy

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Hi Jonathan, I'd just like to say before describing my position and question by outlining I have no problems with direct criticisms.

I'd also like to sincerely thank you in advance for taking the time to hear me out and essentially listening to my "life story".

Ill start by describing my family and position; I am 21 now currently living at home with my parents, my dad is  pragmatic and a stone wall while my mother is loving and selfless.
I will be honest, I have been sheltered for the past 4 years, something I've never admitted openly. Neither of my parents have pushed me to aspire. It is usually a case of throwing money at my problems. There was also never a threat to change my bad habits.

This may seem like a horrible excuse, which it is and is something I will try to explain.
I rarely go outside, I don't drive or have a job, still in high school about to finish.

I acknowledged my issues about 2 years ago and decided that after school I would join the military and strive to become  less of a sloth or pursue my dream of a career in aviation.

I learned that I need to push myself without relying on others while pretending not to. However I feel like I may have shaped a "self" that proceeds to reveal that I am just a naturally apathetic person because of me being chronologically sheltered.

I believe some people in dire straits have an absolute advantage in life over those who have been sheltered, those are the truly motivated people. My source of motivation has to come from myself. I have little to prove to others because I have a very small circle of people I actually interact with and I am not a prideful person.

This leaves me in a spot where I have to start doing things I've had little experience doing, and all the while putting burden on my loved ones who want to do nothing but help me but do it in a way that only reinforces my complacency to do nothing.

Its sickening that this is the case. A teenager who seeks no freedom from his house and is scared to face the world.
I feel the only redeeming factor is knowing I want to change, I want to go out and help people, work to fulfill my aspirations and enjoy life.

But it really is hard to break the spell of lethargy which I hope the military can remedy, I look forward to what you have to say. Thank you more than a lot.

Answer
Hi Jason, I will make some comments in capital letters so you will easily see them. I'm not shouting.


Hi Jonathan, I'd just like to say before describing my position and question by outlining I have no problems with direct criticisms.

I'd also like to sincerely thank you in advance for taking the time to hear me out and essentially listening to my "life story".

Ill start by describing my family and position; I am 21 now currently living at home with my parents,A LOT OF PEOPLE YOUR AGE AND OLDER ARE DOING THE SAME THING.

my dad is  pragmatic and a stone wall while my mother is loving and selfless. THAT MAKES IT COMFORTABLE FOR YOU.

I will be honest, I have been sheltered for the past 4 years, something I've never admitted openly.IN NATURE THE ADULT CREATURES EVENTUALLY DRIVE OUT THEIR YOUNG TO START THEIR OWN LIFE BUT WE HUMANS HAVE SUCH A LONG DPENDENCY PERIOD SO WE CANNOT BE COMPARED TO OTHER CREATURES.

Neither of my parents have pushed me to aspire.THAT ITSELF IS A PROBLEM.  THEY MAY NOT WANT TO LET GO OF YOU AS IT PROBABLY GIVES THEM SOME GAIN TO HAVE YOU LIVE WITH THEM.

It is usually a case of throwing money at my problems.AS LONG AS YOU HAVE SPENDING MONEY AND A ROOF AND FOOD YOU PROBABLY SEE NO REASON TO GIVE UP THAT SECURITY.

There was also never a threat to change my bad habits.IN ONE SENSE THEY ARE NOT DOING YOU ANY FAVORS. IF YOUR CLOTHES ARE WASHED FOR YOU AND IF YOUR MOM MAKES YOUR BED FOR YOU, THEN YOU ARE STILL LIVING AS A DEPENDENT CHILD.

This may seem like a horrible excuse, which it is and is something I will try to explain.
I rarely go outside,  WHY IS THAT?

I don't drive WHY IS THAT?  PEOPLE UNDER 16 DO NOT DRIVE
or have a job , WHY IS THAT ?PEOPLE UNDER 18 MAY NOT WORK

still in high school WHAT AT 21? WHY ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE FINISHING HIGH SCHOOL?
about to finish.

I acknowledged my issues about 2 years ago and decided that after school I would join the military NOT A OOD IDEA IN MY OPINION

and strive to become  less of a sloth WHAT YOU DESCRIBE AS SLOTH COULD BE DEPRESSION.  DO YOU FEEL DEPRESSED?


or pursue my dream of a career in aviation. WHAT PART OF AVIATION?

I learned that I need to push myself without relying on others while pretending not to. However I feel like I may have shaped a "self" that proceeds to reveal that I am just a naturally apathetic person because of me being chronologically sheltered. YOUR PARENTS MAY SENSE THAT YOU COULD BE DEPRESSED AND THEY MAY FEEL THIS UNCONSCIOUSLY.


I believe some people in dire straits have an absolute advantage in life over those who have been sheltered, those are the truly motivated people. YOU SEEM TO BE UNMOTIVATED BUT THATS A SYMPTOM NOT A CAUSE OF WHY YOUR LIFE IS LIKE IT IS RIGHT NOW.

My source of motivation has to come from myself. I have little to prove to others because I have a very small circle of people I actually interact with WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND DO YOU SEE THEM IN PERSON OR IS IT JUST ONLINE.?

and I am not a prideful person.

This leaves me in a spot where I have to start doing things I've had little experience doing, and all the while putting burden on my loved ones who want to do nothing but help me but do it in a way that only reinforces my complacency to do nothing. THEY HAVE MADE THE "NEST" FAR TO COMFORTABLE FOR YOU. WHEN A CHILD HAS EVERYTHING DONE FOR THEM IT BECOMES FAR TOO EASY TO BREAK AWAY FROM SUCH "ROOM SERVICE".

Its sickening that this is the case. A teenager YOU ARE 21 YET YOU STILL SEE YOURSELF AS A TEENAGER.  FAR TOO MANY TEENS DO NOT FEEL ANY RESPONSIBILITY TO DO ANYTHING WITH THEIR LIVES.

who seeks no freedom from his house and is scared to face the world. YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED AND YET YOU RECOGNIZE THAT THINGS NEED TO CHANGE.


I feel the only redeeming factor is knowing I want to change,GOOD

I want to go out and help people, GOOD  TRY VOLUNTEERING AT A SOUP KITCHEN ONE DAY A MONTH OR MORE. VOLUNTEER AT A HOSPITAL BY GREETING VISITORS AND DIRECTING THEM TO THE PEOPLE THEY ARE VISITING. VOLUNTEER AT A NURSING HOME. VOLUNTEER AT A CENTER FOR THE DISABLED. YOU CAN READ TO SOMEONE WHO CANNOT SEE WELL, TEACH SOMEONE HOW TO USE A COMPUTER OR TO WRITE AN EMAIL.

work to fulfill my aspirations and enjoy life. YOU NEED TO START SOMEWHERE SO VOLUNTEERING IS A GOOD WAY TO START AND GET YOU OUT OF YOUR HOUSE.

But it really is hard to break the spell of lethargy  OF COURSE IT IS.  YOU HAVE A SHELTER, YOU HAVE FOOD, LAUNDRY SERVICE, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WORK, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PAY ANY MONEY, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DRIVE, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WORK AT AN OCCUPATION OR TOWARD ONE.

which I hope the military can remedy,THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO MUCH FOR YOU. AND THE TIME SPENT THERE WOULD BE BETTER SPENT IN GOING TO A COMMUNITY COLLEGE AND SETTING A SERIES OF GOALS FOR YOURSELF. GOAL SETTING IS SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER DONE. I UNDERSTAND THAT COMPLETELY SINCE NO ONE EVER ENCOURAGED ME TO HAVE ANY GOALS. WHEN YOU HAVE NO GOALS YOU JUST "DRIFT" AND THAT MEANS A LOT OF TIME IS LOST.

I look forward to what you have to say. Thank you more than a lot. FIRST YOU NEED TO BECOME A CHURCH GOER IF YOU ARE NOT NOW ALREADY ONE. IF YOUR PARENTS DO NOT ATTEND A CHURCH THEN YOU NEED TO.. IF THEY DO NOT BELONG TO A MAINLINE CHURCH THEN YOU NEED TO LOOK INTO ONE. YOU DID NOT SAY WHAT CHRCH YOU WERE RAISED IN IF ANY. YOU NEED TO GET YOUR LIFE RIGHT WITH GOD FIRST. AND YOU NEED TO ALLOW GOD TO HAVE FIRST PLACE IN YOUR LIFE AND THEN THINGS WILL BEGIN TO FALL INTO PLACE LITTLE BY LITTLE. YOU ALSO NEED TO SET A NUMBER OF GOALS ANDWRITE THEM DOWN AND CHECK THEM OFF AS YOU ATTAIN EACH ONE. START SIMPLY AND WORK UP TO INCREASINGLY MORE COMPLEX AND DIFFICULT GOALS. YOU NEED TO LEARN TO DRIVE SO GET YOUR LEARNERS PERMIT. YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE EVERY DAY EVE IF ONLY FOR A WALK. YOU ALSO NEED TO DO SOME CHORES AROUND YOUR HOME. IF YOUR PARENTS DO NOT GIVE YOU ANY THEN JUST START DOING SOME ON YOUR OWN.

WHEN YOU START GOING TO A CHURCH FIND OUT WHERE THE PRAYER GROUPS ARE AND WHAT TIME THEY MEET AND WHERE. ALSO LOOK INTO A SINGLES CHURCH GROUP WHICH WILL BRING YOU INTO CONTACT WITH OTHERS YOUR AGE.  IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DEPRESSION THEN YOU NEED TO SEE YOUR FAMILY DOCTOR AND "LEVEL" WITH HIM OR HER AND HAVE THEM REFER YOU TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST WHO WILL BE ABLE TO MAKE A CORRECT DIAGNOSIS. IF YOU ARE NOT DEPRESSED THEN IT STILL A GOOD IDEA TO FIND THAT OUT AS WELL.

FEEL FREE TO ASK A FOLLOW UP QUESTION AND IF YOU HAVE NO CLUE AS TO WHAT CHURCH TO INVESTIGATE OR ABOUT PRAYER GROUPS LET ME KNOW THAT.  THANK YOU FOR YOUR QUESTION.

Teenage Problems

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Jonathan

Expertise

I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.

Experience

I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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