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Teenage Problems/liking another guy

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Ok, so I am 17 and very mature for my age.  I have been working as a professional model since I was nine, so I have always been around older people except for school. I have always been interested in older guys, around 20-25, and they have always expressed interest.  Anyway, I am in a long-distance relationship with this guy who is older and loves me to the ends of the Earth and back;  my family loves him and he is so supportive and loving towards me.  I love him, I have told him that, and he plans to marry me.  Even though I can see this happening in the future, the thought of marriage and children scares me because of how old I am.  Lately I have been self-destructing-I feel down and very stressed, and I just want to have fun.  I met a guy at the skate park when I was hanging with my other friends.  He got my number and we became friends, so I would chill at his house.  One night he said he wanted to try something, so he took a drag of his cigarette and shot gunned it to me.  It was normal, but then he kissed me!  I was so shocked, but mainly because I couldn't stop thinking about him after that.  The next time I went over, we made out....next thing I know I had sex with him and stayed with him that night. He is just interesting to me-we both love the same music, he has an amazing body because he surfs and skates, loves to travel, he's a relaxed, a musician, he's been through a lot in life, and we just had a connection...you know how sometimes you just connect with someone? Yeah, but now I feel this dread for doing that when I am with such an amazing guy, and also I am confused at why I miss the other guy's voice and body next to mine, him playing his guitar for me.....ugg I guess I just needed to talk with someone and get your opinion on the situation.  Thank you so much, this will help me a lot....

Answer
Hi iz:

I will make some comments in capital letters so you will easily see my comments. I'm not shouting.



Ok, so I am 17 and very mature for my age.  I have been working as a professional model since I was nine, THIS IS STILL A SOMEWHAT SHELTERED LIFE

so I have always been around older people except for school. I have always been interested in older guys, around 20-25,THESE COULD BE OLDER BROTHER OR FATHER FIGURE TYPES

and they have always expressed interest. WHAT OLDER GUY IS NOT INTERESTED IN A YOUNG GIRL ESPECIALLY ONE WHO IS YOUNG?

 Anyway, I am in a long-distance relationship with this guy who is older and loves me to the ends of the Earth and back;  my family loves him and he is so supportive and loving towards me.  I love him, I have told him that, and he plans to marry me. HE IS DOING WHAT IS CALLED ROBBING THE CRADLE

Even though I can see this happening in the future, the thought of marriage and children scares me because of how old I am. I UNDERSTAND THAT COMPLETELY. 17 IS TOO YOUNG TO CONSIDER MARRIAGE. YOU ARE GOING TO CHANGE A LOT IN THE NEXT FEW YEARS.

 Lately I have been self-destructing-I feel down and very stressed OF COURSE YOU ARE, THATS TO BE EXPECTED.

and I just want to have fun.THATS GOOD AS LONG AS IT DOES NOT INCLUDE BEHAVIOR THAT INCLUDES SELF DESTRUCTIVE THINGS LIKE DRUG USE OR BEING SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS.

 I met a guy at the skate park when I was hanging with my other friends.  He got my number and we became friends, so I would chill at his house.  One night he said he wanted to try something, so he took a drag of his cigarette and shot gunned it to me. I AM NOT SURE WHAY THA MEANS UNLESS YOU MEAN IT WAS MARIJUANA.

It was normal, but then he kissed me!  I was so shocked, but mainly because I couldn't stop thinking about him after that. A KISS CAN ALWAYS BE PLEASUREABLE OR IT MAY NOT BE SO IF IT MAKES YOU SENSE THAT THE PERSON IS MOVING TOO FAST FOR YOU.

 The next time I went over, we made out....next thing I know I had sex with him  NOT GOOD , HE IS MOVING TOO FAST FOR YOU AND IS REALLY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR TRUST OF HIM

and stayed with him that night.ANOTHER BAD CHOICE

He is just interesting to me-we both love the same music, THATS NOT SURPRISING AS GUYS CAN AND DO LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. BUT IT CAN ALSO BE A "CON" GUYS USE TO GET WHAT THEY REALLY WANT. IN THIS AGE HAVING SEX WITH ANYONE CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS. IN AN AGE OF HERPES, AIDS AND NOW THERE IS A STRAIN OF E COLI BACTERIA THAT IS RESISTANT TO DRUGS AND IS CAUSING URINARY TRACT INFECTIONS THAT ARE PROVING TO BE DIFFICULT TO CURE SHOULD MAKE YOU THINK CAUTIOUSLY ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH ANYONE. yOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED TO SOMEONE. NOT IN TODAYS WORLD. AND EACH PERSON NEEDS TO BE EXAMINED FOR ANY STD'S.



he has an amazing body because he surfs and skates,YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE PHYSICAL AND THATS DECEIVING

loves to travel,WHO DOESN'T?   he's a relaxed, a musician,THAT MEANS HE IS LIKLEY TO BE INVOLVED IN DRUG USE WITH HIS FRIENDS. WHAT KIND OF A LIFE IS THAT? YOU NEED TO LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS STABLE EMPLOYMENT AND HAS A CAREER THAT MAKES THEM EMPLOYABLE.

he's been through a lot in life,THAT DOES NOT SOUND GOOD

and we just had a connection...you know how sometimes you just connect with someone? COULD YOU BE DECEIVING YOURSELF OR LOOKING AT THINGS THROUGH ROSE COLORED EYEGLASSES OR LOOKING AT SOMEONE WITH THE HALO EFFECT?

Yeah, but now I feel this dread for doing that  NEVER VIOLATE YOUR CONSCIENCE. NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. I LEARNED THIS FROM THE GREATEST SCIENTIST OF THE 20TH CENTURY ,ALBERT EINSTEIN. WHEN HE WAS IN GERMANY AND GERMANY WAS AT WAR IN WHAT BECAME THE FIRST WORLD WAR, GERMANY WANTED ALL OF ITS SCIENTISTS TO SAY THAT GERMANY WAS WINNING THE WAR TO PUBLICALY SAY SO, EINSTEIN REFUSED TO DO SO BECAUSE HE KNEW GERMANY WAS LOSING THE WAR. HE SAID "YOU NEVER VIOLATE YOUR CONSCIENCE".

when I am with such an amazing guy, and also I am confused at why I miss the other guy's voice and body next to mine, him playing his guitar for me.....ugg I guess I just needed to talk with someone and get your opinion on the situation. YOU ARE FAR TOO YOUNG TO CONSIDER "SETTLING DOWN " WITH ANYONE. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CONSIDER GOING TO COLLEGE OR IF YOU HAVE A SUCESSFYL MODELING CAREER THEN FOCUS ON IT. MOST GUYS ARE REALLY INTERESTED IN ONE THING AND THATS UNFORTUNATE. THEY MAY PROFESS UNDYING LOVE FOR YOU AND THEY KNOW HOW TO APPEAL TO WOMEN. AND UNFORTUNATELY TOO MANY WOMEN FALL FOR THEIR LINES.

I DO NOT KNOW IF YOU ARE A CHURCH GOER OR NOT BUT IF NOT THEN YOU NEED TO BECOME ONE. IF YOU ALLOW GOD TO HAVE FIRST PLACE IN YOUR LIFE THEN YOU WILL LISTEN TO THAT INNER VOICE AND THAT WILL KEEP YOU FROM MAKING COLASSAL ERRORS IN YOUR LIFE. THE TEACK RECORD FOR MARRAIGE IS NOT GOOD IN TODAYS WORLD, AND NO COUNTRY IS BETTER THAN ANY OTHER COUNTRY. HALF OF ALL MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE AND EARLY MARRIAGES DO NOT LAST VERY LONG DUE TO TO HOW PEOPLE CHANGE. I SUGGEST YOU START GOING TO A CHURCH THAT YOU WERE RAISED IN IF ANY. IF YOU HAVE HAD NO RELIGIOUS TRAINING THEN LOOK INTO IT AND SEEK GODS WILL FOR YOUR LIFE.

YOU CAN NEVER BE WILLING TO LISTEN TO GUYS TELLING YOU THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON FOR THEM SINCE PEOPLE LIE TO GET WHAT THEY WANT. THERE IS A GREAT DEAL OF LYING GOING ON AND PEOPLE ARE CAREFUL TO NOT LET YOU SEE THEIR BAD SIDE.  ANYONE CAN BE ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOR WHEN THEY ARE FIRST GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE BUT IF YOU LOOK,LISTEN, AND PAY ATTENTION TO HOW THEY TREAT OTHERS AND HOW THEY TREAT THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS IT GIVES YOU CLUES AS TO HOW YOU CAN EXPECT TO BE TREATED IF YOU DECIDE TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM PERMANENT.

Thank you so much, this will help me a lot.... FEEL FREE TO ASK A FOLLOWUP QUESTION.

Teenage Problems

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Jonathan

Expertise

I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.

Experience

I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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