Teenage Problems/First kiss

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Question
I'm 13 and he's 14. So I was at my friends house with my mom (our moms are friends) for her little sisters birthday party. Her older brother was there too and of course after all the little kids left the 'grown ups' hung out. My mom was outside with the rest of them and he was too. So I found a cup with vodka and I drank it like wtf lets go. He came in and he was drunk too. "I'm so drunk" that's what I told him. When my mom decided that we would just sleep over i was so excited. I was supposed to sleep with my friend on the bottom and him on the top bunk. So we were getting into bed and he got in the bottom next to his sister and I'm like screw it and I crawled in next to him. He had his hand just on my hip fingers just barely touching me. And I don't remember what brought it up but we were talking and I told him I hadn't had my first kiss. So we're laying there cuddling and his face is just next to mine. He asked me if I wanted my first kiss and me being the fool I am I said yes. So he kisses me. It was so gentle and meanwhile my friend is right next to him. Then he asked me if I wanted to go higher and I just said idk. So he kisses me again. We've kissed like 5 times now and he says "5s a good number wanna go to ten"again I go along. At this point his sister just gets up and heads to the top bunk. So we're in bed kissing and his tongue just barely touches mine. I'm not even sure how long we've been kissing (he was kissing my neck too) but he says that we're up to 27. And that's when I turn myself into a total dork and start talking about math. He told me to go turn off the light but it was 'too far away' so he got it. I told him his heart was beating really fast and so he stuck his hand up my shirt to see how fast mines going. We just keep kissing he tasted like ice water even after he'd been smoking and drinking. I told him he had to go and he said soon so he pulls me on top of him and latches his hands on my butt. I realize the doors open and he goes to close it, as soon as he gets to the door my mom just pops in and he leaves. It was really magical in some weird way. Like it didn't happen it feels like a dream. Now most of my friends that weren't even there are mad at me. His sister was like omg finally. But I'd only just met him that night. I don't regret what happened I just regret telling them. Is what I did bad? I know I'm not supposed to drink but otherwise I don't think what I did was wrong even though everyone else does.

Answer
Hi Laylah,

I had to smile when I read your story; Laylah, believe me you didn't do anything bad at all, I promise you! Why your friends are so mad at you I really don't know.

Laylah, you acted on instinct and YOU yourself felt ready to have your first kiss. Around your age the majority of us knew what we were ready for and we weren't.

At a young age, I was around 12, I kissed a boy and we had a bit of touching going on, not much. But when he tried to get on top of me to have intercourse I said no - because I wasn't ready for it at that age. But, when I reached 14, I was. You just know inside what time to do something with a boy is right, you just feel it.

Ok, you had some alcohol - you're not alone on that one either. You are a teenager, you are growing up and you're exploring the world - especially copying what the adults are doing around you, they are your role models and there is no harm in trying a little liquor. Ok, if you were like 5 it wouldn't be ok, and if your parents knew that you had a drink they may be pissed at you. But your growing up.

You enjoyed the kiss right? At least he was gentle with you. So in my eyes, your first kiss was a very pleasant experience for you and one that you shouldn't feel bad about. Your friends that are mad at you are probably not ready themselves to have the same experience, they will be one day, but they can't understand because it's never happened to them - yet! They may even be a little envious, some of them.

Honestly Laylah, you haven't done anything wrong. Though that's not a 'Red flag' to start regularly drinking alcohol and kissing loads of boys, it's just you growing up on your way to mid-teens, late-teens and into adulthood.

You're Ok! Honestly...

Write back if you want to talk some more and I hope what I have written has been helpful.

Caroline :)

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Caroline West

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Hi.I can answer really all questions regarding to any problems that you are facing at the moment. You can write to me with any concerns you may be having around relationships, friends, boyfiends, girlfriends, sex, losing your virginity - I can answer any worries and doubts you may have. If you are feeling Depressed or Angry and you don't know why, I can help. Plus If you are feeling a bit lost and out of place, talk to me. Is there stuff going on at home that's causing you hurt? Are you having problems with your parents? - I'll help you. Anything as well to do with the Emotions I understand. If you are feeling like you are not coping and/or your school work is suffering, we can talk that through. Are you suffereing from bullying, cyber-bullying? I'll help. Religion, where you may be questioning your Spirituality. Drug and Alcohol problems and questions, if you're worried it's getting out of control or perhaps a friend is going through issues. Whatever's going on around you or inside you, feel free to write in. I'm here to help anyone who's having a tough time and with some tough decisions to make. And if you have wandered off the path a bit, I'll help you get back on track :)

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I had a tough time being a Teenager. I had suffered bullying, feeling alone. I was very rebellious too and I hung around with the wrong type of kids and started smoking and I got into Drugs before I was even 13. I lost my Virginity at the age of 14 which I now know is a precious thing. There was a lot going on with my home life and I felt very alone with Parent's that didn't understand me. I became very depressed and felt I had no one to turn to, I felt lost. I'm older now and have dealt with the things that went on and have a better life. So I do understand and I really am here to help anyone that writes in who wants a listening ear and support :)

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I have schooling up to A Level, College Diplomas. But what I really have to offer here is valuable 'life experience' :)

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I have returned to AllExperts.com after a year long break. Before I left I had been with All Experts for over 3 years and worked in many categories ranging from Teenage Problems, Abusive Relationships to Drug/Substance Abuse and many more. I have just returned initially to help Teenagers out that are having problems.

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