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Teenage Problems/Does this count as molesting ?

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Question
Last night me and my aunt's boyfriend(I'm 15 and he's 28) were hanging out watching TV on the couch and everyone was asleep. We were sitting next to each other and I started falling asleep and I guess I stretched out and put my legs across his lap(I was wearing shorts because it was really hot). I was like half asleep/half awake and started drifting off more and he asked me if I was asleep and I didn't answer because I planned on falling asleep, was too lazy to tell him I was trying and then he put his hands on my inner thigh and then pushed my legs apart softly and put one hand on my vagina(with my cloth shorts on, but he also traced the outline of my underwear with his fingertip) and started masturbating with his other hand and softly rubbed me... I pretended to be asleep because I was afraid if I woke up and told him no that he'd get angry with me, he scares me when he's angry. I've already told him a few times before that I don't want to have sex with him or be sexual with him, so I guess he waited until I was asleep.. Does this count as molesting?

Answer
Hi Lizzie,
Thank you for writing to me.  There are several things that i see in your letter.  First of all, you are 15 years old and you should have told an adult as soon as this 28 year old man even mentioned sex to you.  Secondly, you should not have stayed alone with him watching television after everyone else went to bed.  Additionally, you should not have been sitting so close to him that when you stretched out your legs they were resting on him. At the point that he touched you, you should have been up screaming.  You stated that you told him no when he previously asked you about sex, however, now you are giving him mixed signals by allowing him to feel on you while masturbating. You knew exactly what he was doing because you were secretly watching him. This is not only molestation, it is sexual abuse on a minor as he was touching you while committing a sexual act.  You need to make an adult, either at your house, family, or school aware of this situation.

Please free to write to me again.

Respectfully,
Dr. Lee

Teenage Problems

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Dr. Shirley M Lee

Expertise

I can answer questions relating to youth that are on probation, arrested, has anger management issues, lack of impulse control, problems in school and substance abuse issues. Additionally, I can answer questions about youth with sex issues, domestic violence, child abuse, child sex abuse, as the abuser and the one that has been abused, parent abuse, physical, mental and psychological abuse. I answer questions about marriage and divorce. I can't answer questions about medication that has been ordered by a psychiatrist and it's side affects or should you stop taking it. I can answer the question as to what reason the medication was ordered.

Experience

I have been providing care, guidance, and social services for children, adolescents, and their families for 32plus years. I work with young people who struggle with behavioral problems and issues at home and school. I assist our youth in developing healthy living habits and motivate them to become productive citizens. In addition, I work with the parents and families to motivate and encourage strengthening the family. I have worked with families that have been homeless, in poverty, peer pressure, and bullying. I currently counsel with youth that are on probation for battery, domestic violence, petit and petite theft, substance substance abuse and sex offenders. I also speak with their teachers and go into the homes and schools. I am a mentor to all these children and their parents. When help is needed beyond my expertise I will suggest where to take the child to receive the proper services.

Organizations
AACC (AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS) AND THE BAACC (BLACK AFRICAN-AMERICAN CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS).

Publications
Published 6 books and were sold at the Christian Book Store for one year.

Education/Credentials
Ph.d in Sacred Religious Counseling; Ph.d in Counseling Psychology; MA in Public Administration; BA in Paralegal; Clinically Certified Domestic Violence Counselor; CFARS (CHILDREN'S FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE); and for adults the FARS (FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE. I am also a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor.

Awards and Honors
Biblical Studies with highest Honors. Magna Cum laude.

Past/Present Clients
In the past I worked for two different agencies as a Case Manager, a Therapist and a Counselor for the youth. I worked under the leadership of the two agencies as an independent contractor. 3 years ago I began working my own business, which has been in existence since 2002 in counseling. Presently I am working with youth that are on probation and is court ordered to take an anger management and/or impulse control class with me. I am also registered with the county to perform marriage counseling and weddings.

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