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Teenage Problems/How to deal with anger inside me


QUESTION: Hi..I would really appreciate if you could try and help me out... The problem is that I've a great difficulty getting along with my friends from high school... I'm the kind of guy who is a bit of an introvert. Not because I like being lonely or something, but because I grew up with a pretty big stammering problem. Because of it, when I was young I used to get laughed at or teased because of it.. Now the problem has pretty much left me but whenever I meet my old friends those past memories reappear and I again feel insecure...I cannot talk to them freely with confidence or even hit back in verbal teasing or other instances like that...I feel like punching them on their faces and taking revenge because they kinda gave me some bad experinces in my childhood.. But at the same time I want to feel accepted by them...what should I do? It's really eating me up.! And I don't wanna ruin my teenage years... :/

Thank you for writing to me. First,  I would like to congratulate you on overcoming your stammering. Secondly, I would inform the people that continue to find it necessary to pick  at you, that you do not see the humor in it. I would then inform them that it is offensive and  you would like them to stop. Do not stoop to their level of ignorance. Hopefully, they did not realize that it bothered you and they will stop.

If they do not stop that is an indication that they do not care about your feelings and therefore they are not your friends and nor do they want to be.  You are better than them and you don't need them in your circle of friends.

Never hit someone for being ignorant. Be the bigger person and walk away. You are the winner.

Please feel free to write to me again.

Dr. Lee

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: But won't opening up to them encourage them even more to tease me? And if I confront them then the whole schoolwill know about the incident and I don't want that to happen :/ isn't there any another way?
(p.s sorry if you think the question is stupid or something :/ x_x  I just don't want to make things complicated)

Hi Ted,
Thank you for writing to me again. This was not an incident. This was something in which you had no control. "Children" can be very cruel. However, as they grow older and more mature, things that they thought to be funny is no longer funny. Some children continue to find things funny and therefore they continue to poke fun at situations that are not funny.

You can choose to ignore them and once they are not getting a response from you they will stop. Again, they may just think it's all in fun and they are not aware  that it bothers you. You may want to approach them individually. You did not state how many were involved. Another approach would be to just state, during the conversation, "man that time of my young life was something else, I am sure glad that I outgrew that".

Now they have nothing to pick on you about and they don't need to bring it up again. You have acknowledged that it occurred and it is a thing of the past and life moves on. You are a winner and they don't even realize that you put them in their place and beat them at their own game. There is no news to spread around.

Please feel free to write to me again.

Dr. Lee

Teenage Problems

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Dr. Shirley M Lee


I can answer questions relating to youth that are on probation, arrested, has anger management issues, lack of impulse control, problems in school and substance abuse issues. Additionally, I can answer questions about youth with sex issues, domestic violence, child abuse, child sex abuse, as the abuser and the one that has been abused, parent abuse, physical, mental and psychological abuse. I answer questions about marriage and divorce. I can't answer questions about medication that has been ordered by a psychiatrist and it's side affects or should you stop taking it. I can answer the question as to what reason the medication was ordered.


I have been providing care, guidance, and social services for children, adolescents, and their families for 32plus years. I work with young people who struggle with behavioral problems and issues at home and school. I assist our youth in developing healthy living habits and motivate them to become productive citizens. In addition, I work with the parents and families to motivate and encourage strengthening the family. I have worked with families that have been homeless, in poverty, peer pressure, and bullying. I currently counsel with youth that are on probation for battery, domestic violence, petit and petite theft, substance substance abuse and sex offenders. I also speak with their teachers and go into the homes and schools. I am a mentor to all these children and their parents. When help is needed beyond my expertise I will suggest where to take the child to receive the proper services.


Published 6 books and were sold at the Christian Book Store for one year.

Ph.d in Sacred Religious Counseling; Ph.d in Counseling Psychology; MA in Public Administration; BA in Paralegal; Clinically Certified Domestic Violence Counselor; CFARS (CHILDREN'S FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE); and for adults the FARS (FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE. I am also a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor.

Awards and Honors
Biblical Studies with highest Honors. Magna Cum laude.

Past/Present Clients
In the past I worked for two different agencies as a Case Manager, a Therapist and a Counselor for the youth. I worked under the leadership of the two agencies as an independent contractor. 3 years ago I began working my own business, which has been in existence since 2002 in counseling. Presently I am working with youth that are on probation and is court ordered to take an anger management and/or impulse control class with me. I am also registered with the county to perform marriage counseling and weddings.

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