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Teenage Problems/Am I in an unhealthy relationship?


Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 months now. Lately, we've been fighting a lot because we're jus too different when it comes to beliefs. Last night he asked me to sext a dirty picture of myself (he already gave me one of himself earlier in the relationship) and I said no because i just don't feel comfortable. He then said I didn't love him and that he would no longer be intimate with m. He also swore at me and said that I have to be what he calls "his whore"; which I originally took as a way to say sexually open but now I'm not so sure. We also broke up a while back because I didn't answer when he asked if I wanted to have sex (he broke it off then), saying I didn't know what being "his whore" meant. I was and am still very confused. He tells me he loves me and wants to even have a future with me, but from what I see, I feel like this is jus an unhealthy relationship where I feel abused and manipulated. I also realized I don't trust him with my emotions because he never gives proper advice that I agree with but I constantly offer support and try to increase his esteem.. He doesn't return this. Am I over exaggerating? Is this just normal? Plz help.

Hi Cher,

You are most certainly Not exaggerating at all. And this type of relationship which you are in is very destructive, not on your part, but the way he is treating you.

You are no-ones 'whore'; for him to refer to you as that is disgusting to be honest. What he is saying to you is that you are his property sexually and he can do whatever he pleases with you and when he wants to. Calling you his whore is really degrading, beyond degrading in fact.

Every instinct in my body wants to tell you to get the heck away from this guy. And you are right, he is manipulating you. If you don't send him a dirty picture of yourself then he will not be intimate with you, that is emotional blackmail. It's not good Cher.

Also, he does nothing whatsoever to help you with your emotions and self esteem. What he is doing is dragging them both down as opposed to up and I can tell you - it will only get worse, not better.

You've said it yourself that you feel like you are being abused - You are, I can tell you that straight from reading your problem.

I'll be honest. This guy is no good. He is disrespecting you, manipulating you, dragging you down, using emotional blackmail on you, viewing you as one of the worst things possible.

Cher, while you can, you have got to get out of this relationship with him as fast as you can. Because it could get to a point where he has undermined your confidence so much that you will feel so worthless that you won't be able to leave.

This is not a normal and healthy relationship. And I am so glad that you wrote in while the relationship is still new so I can warn you that this is already Bad and will get even worse.

Everything you wrote, that YOU feel about him is spot on. Don't trust him at all. He is bad news.

I've got nothing to gain by telling you to break up with him. But when I read what you had written, I was very concerned.

Re-read this response a few times and it will sink in what I am saying to you. This guy, if you choose to stay with him, could well screw your life up. And I promise you that he is Not going to change.

When you try an leave him, he will use every manipulative trick in the book to get you to stay, he'll say anything and everything and you must be really strong Cher and not fall for the lies he is going to try and say to you. And believe me, he will try everything from being nice to being nasty, the lot. Just keep telling him No and it's over.

Cher I really hope you listen to me. Your gut instincts are already telling you what I am confirming. It won't get better with him, only worse. How dare he call you what he has? You are 100 times better than that and deserve someone really nice who will love you and treat you with respect and dignity.

If things start getting bad with him and you need some support then write in again. He will probably give you the line about how sorry he is and he didn't mean it and he loves you etc.. It's all rubbish, don't listen to him. It's his way of manipulating you further.

I'm here if you want to talk some more and I promise you that leaving him and keeping well away from him, even as 'friends' is the best thing you can do. Please take my advice.

Good luck, and I'm here if you need some support.

Caroline :)  

Teenage Problems

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Caroline West


Hi.I can answer really all questions regarding to any problems that you are facing at the moment. You can write to me with any concerns you may be having around relationships, friends, boyfiends, girlfriends, sex, losing your virginity - I can answer any worries and doubts you may have. If you are feeling Depressed or Angry and you don't know why, I can help. Plus If you are feeling a bit lost and out of place, talk to me. Is there stuff going on at home that's causing you hurt? Are you having problems with your parents? - I'll help you. Anything as well to do with the Emotions I understand. If you are feeling like you are not coping and/or your school work is suffering, we can talk that through. Are you suffereing from bullying, cyber-bullying? I'll help. Religion, where you may be questioning your Spirituality. Drug and Alcohol problems and questions, if you're worried it's getting out of control or perhaps a friend is going through issues. Whatever's going on around you or inside you, feel free to write in. I'm here to help anyone who's having a tough time and with some tough decisions to make. And if you have wandered off the path a bit, I'll help you get back on track :)


I had a tough time being a Teenager. I had suffered bullying, feeling alone. I was very rebellious too and I hung around with the wrong type of kids and started smoking and I got into Drugs before I was even 13. I lost my Virginity at the age of 14 which I now know is a precious thing. There was a lot going on with my home life and I felt very alone with Parent's that didn't understand me. I became very depressed and felt I had no one to turn to, I felt lost. I'm older now and have dealt with the things that went on and have a better life. So I do understand and I really am here to help anyone that writes in who wants a listening ear and support :)

Organizations which helps various causes all over the world.

I have schooling up to A Level, College Diplomas. But what I really have to offer here is valuable 'life experience' :)

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I have returned to after a year long break. Before I left I had been with All Experts for over 3 years and worked in many categories ranging from Teenage Problems, Abusive Relationships to Drug/Substance Abuse and many more. I have just returned initially to help Teenagers out that are having problems.

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