You are here:

Teenage Problems/Crushes/ Guy Problems


Dear Dr. Lee. I don't know if you remember or not, but I wrote you about having a crush on my sister's soon-to-be brother-in-law. I saw him today for the rehearsal dinner, and we walk down the aisle together. He was nice to me, and such and I think he would have been more flirty if it wasn't so many people around. He brought a girl with him, but I don't know if that's his steady girlfriend because I saw how he changed his profile picture when he's with another girl, but obvious the present girlfriend doesn't mind. I don't know if he is still possibly using drugs or not, but he was very skinny and I know that when people use cocaine or crack-cocaine they lose a lot of weight most of the time, but he looked healthy, just really really skinny, but not in an anorexic way either. He mumbled something in my ear when we practiced walking down the aisle (something about the way we walked or how he gets confused about something) but I couldn't hear him that well because he said it really low. We made eye contact while at the rehearsal, but we didn't really talk because we didn't sit that near each other. But when it was time to go, I told him bye, and he smiled and said it back to me. I want to just wait a few years and see if he likes me back, but I don't want him to be married away by the time I'm ready for a serious relationship with him, seeing as he's 21 and I just turned 14. I really like him and I don't want him to be my 'One that got away', but I just don't know what to do. He acts like he likes me, but he doesn't want to show it because of the age difference and his father is really mean and tough and I don't want him to get in trouble with him, seeing as I think he would get in more trouble with his dad than with the law. I know that if it wasn't for this big age difference this wouldn't be a problem, but I just don't know what to do. And the wedding is tomorrow, April 20, 2013. I have to see him all day tomorrow but... I really just don't know what to do. I want him, but I don't know if I could actually handle him, especially at an age as young as I am. Please reply ASAP, the wedding is tomorrow and when I see him my heart races, my stomach gets butterflies, my mind goes blank, and I feel as though my knees are buckling and my arms are shaking. I shook his hand earlier, and I almost passed out. I really like him but I don't want things to go farter south then it already is.

Hi Celeste,
Thank you for writing to me again. I do remember you and your first letter.  I commend you for having as much smarts and self control that you have at your tender age.  You have demonstrated that you have feelings for this man, but you have everything under control.  No matter how you feel, I want you to remember your age and his.  If you care so much about him, you will stay away from him.  If he allows himself to get involved with you, he would be facing prison time for rape of a minor.  You would really be missing him when you became of age because he would still be in prison.  

He may just be flirting with you because you are young and his ego lets him know that he is still fine enough to pull the young girls.  However, if you encourage his behavior and he feels like he can have you if he wants to, he may try something one day that you are not ready to handle.  

Also, if he is doing drugs of any kind, you do not want to be bothered with him. It is better for you to stay clear of him.  When a person likes a person as much as you say that you do, they will do things that they would not ordinarily do to please this person.  I know you are thinking that it will not happen to you but it can.  

Please stay away from him.  If he gets a chance to get you by yourself or if you catch him when he alone and not in a serious relationship, he will try you.  You speak as if you know what can happen between him and you, but you also state how much you like him.  

If this is true love, he will not be the one that gets away because he will be waiting for you and you and him will be available when the time is right.  Continue taking care of you. Involve yourself with friends around your own age and enjoy life.  You will never have the time that you have now to be a teenager.  If you mess it up, you can never get these years back. You will have a long, long time to be an adult with adult situations and problems. You are very wise.

Please feel free to write me again.

Dr. Lee

Teenage Problems

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Dr. Shirley M Lee


I can answer questions relating to youth that are on probation, arrested, has anger management issues, lack of impulse control, problems in school and substance abuse issues. Additionally, I can answer questions about youth with sex issues, domestic violence, child abuse, child sex abuse, as the abuser and the one that has been abused, parent abuse, physical, mental and psychological abuse. I answer questions about marriage and divorce. I can't answer questions about medication that has been ordered by a psychiatrist and it's side affects or should you stop taking it. I can answer the question as to what reason the medication was ordered.


I have been providing care, guidance, and social services for children, adolescents, and their families for 32plus years. I work with young people who struggle with behavioral problems and issues at home and school. I assist our youth in developing healthy living habits and motivate them to become productive citizens. In addition, I work with the parents and families to motivate and encourage strengthening the family. I have worked with families that have been homeless, in poverty, peer pressure, and bullying. I currently counsel with youth that are on probation for battery, domestic violence, petit and petite theft, substance substance abuse and sex offenders. I also speak with their teachers and go into the homes and schools. I am a mentor to all these children and their parents. When help is needed beyond my expertise I will suggest where to take the child to receive the proper services.


Published 6 books and were sold at the Christian Book Store for one year.

Ph.d in Sacred Religious Counseling; Ph.d in Counseling Psychology; MA in Public Administration; BA in Paralegal; Clinically Certified Domestic Violence Counselor; CFARS (CHILDREN'S FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE); and for adults the FARS (FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE. I am also a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor.

Awards and Honors
Biblical Studies with highest Honors. Magna Cum laude.

Past/Present Clients
In the past I worked for two different agencies as a Case Manager, a Therapist and a Counselor for the youth. I worked under the leadership of the two agencies as an independent contractor. 3 years ago I began working my own business, which has been in existence since 2002 in counseling. Presently I am working with youth that are on probation and is court ordered to take an anger management and/or impulse control class with me. I am also registered with the county to perform marriage counseling and weddings.

©2016 All rights reserved.