Teenage Problems/First love


I am 16 years old and live in India. One year ago I met a girl in my class and got a crush on her. I wanted to know her better, but then she went to a different college. So I found her on facebook and got her phone number, ever since I have been texting her and later my feelings for her grew stronger. So I told her that I like her, but she got nervous and stopped talking, later on when we startd talking we were just friends and never speak about it. But because of this little heart break  my self esteem has gone low, among my friends I am a loser, I was made fun of because of  how I screwed up. My studies have gone down the drain, the fact that my heart break happened over the phone is what makes me sad. I have completely lost my way, I still talk to her on the phone because she,diesn'nt want to meet me after what happened. Nothing is the same, eveything in life is getting affected in a bad way, and I just want to meet her and also get back my life. Please help.

Hi there Nishad,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me and I hope that I can help.

I know that you like his girl and feel bad or the way that things have turned out, but the most important hing for you to do is to not let this affect the rest of your life or your studies and just understand that it might be, that at this time, this girl is not ready for a relationship. Chances are, if you have been really good friends and been in regular contact, she has become confused about your relationship as she thought that all you wanted was friendship and not a relationship, so when you have told her how you feel, she has felt awkward and tried to put some space between you and her. This is normal and as upsetting as you may feel, regardless of what happens between you and this girl in the future, you still have your life to lead and more people to meet so do not let this experience ruin the rest of your life. At least you had the courage to say how you felt and to see whether or things would work out between you, most guys do not even have the courage to do this and spend the majority of their lives wondering about whether or not there could have been the possibility of  relationship. Let people say what they want but you have not made a mistake, you have found out where you stand with her. If things are meant to be between you and her, naturally she will reappear in your life in the future but you must not throw away the opportunity to succeed because of her.

If she has put distance between you and her because she is concerned about how close you are, then the only thing you can really do is to get back in touch with her and explain that you understand that she may feel awkward but that you understand that if she is either not ready for a relationship or wants one with you, then that is ok with you as long as she is in your life that is all that matters. Ultimately, that is all you can do and she has to then take the lead and respond. If she doesn't, then it is not the end of the World unless you allow it to be. You are still young and have thousands of people to meet in your life time, so although you may think that this girl is the 'one', how can you know that if you don't allow anybody else to come close to you?

I hope that helps.  

Teenage Problems

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Daryl Taylor, BSc (Hons) Psychology, PGDip (pending certification)


My expertise covers everything and anything to do with growing up, being a teenager or a young adult or being the parent of one of the pre-described. I can cover issues on identity, sexuality, love, relationships, families, drug/alcohol abuse and anything and everything in between.


I have volunteered for AllExperts.com for over ten years now, but even before that I was trying to use my experience to help others by working with Advice4teens.co.uk, Teenadviceonline.org and even Lycos and Ask Jeeves. My experience comes from being a teenager primarily but this lead me to work with young people from the age of 13. I have worked front line, face to face and over the telephone, e-mail and webchat for a government department called Connexions UK (aimed at young people aged 13-19); as well as being student counselor in New York, a Peer Mentor, a student teacher and working for my school, college and University to help raise the aspirations of young people. My life has not been easy and I have been through my fair share of issues; so there is little that I haven't been through in reality opposed to just reading it from a book or from my academic studies. I have been featured as a case study as achieving through adversity for a number of magazines and I have featured in a couple of books on both sides of the Atlantic; even though I am UK based.

The Albert Kennedy Trust

Relationships: Cathy Senker, 2012, Raintree The Dean and Chapter Positive Nation GTEN Television Aim Higher

BSc(Hons) Psychology Post Graduate Diploma in Multidisciplinary Design Innovation Basic Counselling Skills Effective Listening Skills Mental Health First Aid

Awards and Honors
Outstanding Student achievement Adult learner's Award

Past/Present Clients
Allexperts.com Advice4teensuk.org Teenadviceonline.org lycos.co.uk askjeeves.com Connexions Direct

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