Teenage Problems/gran

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QUESTION: Hi, I'm Julie and just 13, I have a brilliant gran who looks after me often.  The other weekend I was staying with her and something happened I want to ask about.  I have been masturbating since I was 10 so I know when it feels nice and what I like, the afternoon I was at grans I was on my bed reading and she came in and sat next to me.  On was on my front reading and she was chatting away as normal and gently stroking the backs of my legs which she has done before and it feels nice.  Then it began to feel tickly which I like and gran does tickle me sometimes, so I stayed on my front trying to concentrate and not laugh and she knew it must have been killing me not to giggle.  As I lay there she tickled me right up and down my thighs and she has such soft hands, after a bit I began to squirm to try and not show she was making me feel so tickly, she tickled right up to my jean shorts and it just made me tingle so so much.  Gran carried on and then I noticed I began to get a nice warm feeling in my tummy and panties and also tingling and I had the urge to squirm into the duvet, as I did this the jeans pulled tight against my panties and this made my tushy very tingly, I began to breath deeper and felt really hot, gran was tickling up and down as I was pressinging into the duvet, I opened my thighs a bit to get the jeans to press tighter onto my panties whci I felt getting wet, each time I pressed down I stayed like it for longer as the tingle felt mor and more until I started to shake and then pressed down a lot and felt my tushy throb and tingler like crazy, my tummy tightened and my breathing went fast, it felt so so nice and I was out of breath after, gran stroked my hair and stayed with me for a bit.  After I went to the loo and saw my panties were stained and wet and my tushy was sticky, I felt it and had the feeling again so I rubbbed  while on the loo till I got the same feeling, what was happening.

ANSWER: Hi There,

You're growing into a young woman Julie! And with that you are maturing sexually too and beginning to feel all the normal sensations below which is perfectly natural.

All it is with your Nan, and you really don't need to worry I promise you, is that you're no longer the little girl that Nan could do that to when she used to which was to make you laugh and giggle. You are just changing, that's all :)

You and your Nan seem very close which is lovely, so... and I know you are going to hate this part, I think you need to tell her that you are maturing sexually and that her tickles no longer felt as they did when you were young. Obviously don't go into the details of getting wet and so on, just gently let her know that you 'felt' something and it made you feel confused and that you think you are growing up. I think she will understand :)

But if it happens again, learn from that experience and this time just sit up and chat her. Nans are great listeners. They have been around a long time. But I do think at some point you will need to talk to her otherwise she will not realize that you are maturing; in other words, no longer able to stroke and tickle you like she could when you were young :)

I hope, hope that this has helped. Any problems on how to talk to her if you're struggling with that, let me know.

Your OK!

Caroline :)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks but I enjoy it??

Answer
Hi Julie,

About this, we have really got to talk!

I can fully understand as well as appreciate what you are saying in that you enjoy it, but (and this is a really Big but), it's not the same as if a boyfriend was tickling you and in effect 'turning you on', because that is what was happening when your Nan stroked you. And I am really sorry to put this so bluntly; Julie, with your Nan, it just isn't appropriate. I do understand that it was a nice and sensual feeling, but there has to be boundaries between you (a young teenager) and your Nan who is an adult in your life. You have to draw the line.

The good thing is at least you know what you like for when you do get in with a guy so you can tell him; but with your Nan doing it, it is no longer Ok.

I understand, I really do, it just can't go on. If your Nan knew that you were becoming sexually aroused she would be devestated and think that she has done something really bad - it would impact her deeply. She see's you as her Grand-Daughter and would feel so bad if she knew what her touch was doing to you.

You are growing up Julie and in this instance you are no longer a little girl anymore so feeling what you felt as she stroked your legs as usual, your body is now responding in a sexually mature manner and no longer 'non-sexually' as your body did before puberty.

I really can't stress this enough; it is no longer Ok with your Nan. This is why you need to tell her and talk to her about it. If it just tickled it would be Ok, but you were turned on and that's when it became not Ok anymore coz she's your Nan.

I really hope that you understand. Just think about what I've written and let it sink in a few times. It really does need to be stopped. But, neither of you have done anything wrong, I just want to make that clear, but it's too innappropriate, Ok? A nice boyfriend would be the best idea!

Take care Julie and write in if you need more answers.

Caroline :)  

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I had a tough time being a Teenager. I had suffered bullying, feeling alone. I was very rebellious too and I hung around with the wrong type of kids and started smoking and I got into Drugs before I was even 13. I lost my Virginity at the age of 14 which I now know is a precious thing. There was a lot going on with my home life and I felt very alone with Parent's that didn't understand me. I became very depressed and felt I had no one to turn to, I felt lost. I'm older now and have dealt with the things that went on and have a better life. So I do understand and I really am here to help anyone that writes in who wants a listening ear and support :)

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