Teenage Problems/Should I move on?
QUESTION: Hi,,Im 16 yrs old.I'm kind of in a difficult position right now.It might seem a little crazy but yeah..I need advice.Two weeks ago..my classmate..a guy started chatting with me online.I was surprised because he never talked to me before and neither did I notice him.We are in the same class this year.We communicate often, through social website, texting ,calling and etc.We got really close..I started to grow feelings for him.And we even hung out together,though there were other friends with us.They said we both looked like couples since we were really close and when I rested my head on his shoulder,he didn't mind at all.I thought he had the same feelings for me too.And then suddenly, since a week ago, he stopped everything.The chatting,calling,texting etc.It was so obvious he's avoiding me.Whenever I text him all he says is Im eating,I got homework,Im sleepy..and so on.I know he's avoiding me but why ? When I asked him a few days ago..all he said is..he is not avoiding me.I tried my best to get an answer but he was laughing instead.He thinks I was joking.I do not know what to do now.I still have feelings for him and Im dying to know why is he ignoring me ? Did he found out I have feelings for him and thought of avoiding me because we don't have a chance ? Or is it something else..should I move on ? should I wait ? I can't seem to forget him.I wanna be with him more than anything.Is it because of the exams next month ? He is the top student in my class..I am also worried on how to focus on anything else when he is in my mind all day.I still wait for him to talk to me.He doesn't look at me in school and walks a different direction if he sees me.I am so hurt.Really depressed and sad thinking about the fun we had together.People thought we were actually dating when they see us..but now ? I have no idea what is going on. And today, he actually borrowed my notebook, and also looked at me and maybe was not ignoring me. I just don't understand this guy ! Is he shy ? Is he scared ? He used to like me status and comments on facebook but after we hung out..I thought we were gonna get close instead we just drifted apart. Why is he doing this ? Does he like me?
ANSWER: Hi Premjit,
There could be a million reasons why this guy is acting the way he is all of a sudden. He could be not interested in you anymore, he could be interested in another girl; it could be anything. At this point it's important that you don't lose it. I understand that you like him and all, but he's not the only guy in your school and you can most certainly find better.
This is what you don't want to do. You don't want to be on his back all the time about it. Don't act like this has effected you. Stop texting him, calling him and communicating with him through social media. If he says hi to you, then speak back and keep it moving. Return the same actions towards him as he has towards you.
If he acts like he doesn't see you, be one step ahead and don't even look his way. You never want a guy to think that you're life is crumbling without him. You give him too much power that way. I'm not saying to keep all your emotions inside. You can scream and cry all you want, just don't let him see you and don't do it for too long. It sounds like he's not worth the tears.
Guys are like that sometimes. They do things like that. Why he's doing it, I couldn't tell you. I can only offer my opinions about it like I did above. Try not to be depressed. If you need to, think about the way he's treating you now. He's ignoring you and acting like you don't even exist. That is hurtful right there, but I think I'd be mad more than anything.
So, at this point I'm not sure if he still likes you or not. Maybe his friends got into hos head and said something about you two being together, so he backed off. It could be any reason why he's acting like this. But like I said, you have to feed him with a long handle spoon and make him realize that he can't treat you like this.
If he says hi to you then speak back but don't give him the time of day. Then you know what? He'll probably come around. Once you start ignoring him and acting like he doesn't exist, he'll probably wonder why and then will want to start talking to you again. But give him his space. When you two do get back talking, make him understand that he will never disrespect you like that again and that what he did hurt you.
I wouldn't wait around for this guy. I would definitely move on if I were you. After all, you two aren't married or anything. Move on and once you do, maybe this guy will come around. You deserve better than the treatment you are getting from him. There are plenty of guys out there that will treat you a whole lot better.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hmmmm, thanks for responding.Im pretty sure it's not another girl, he stated ignoring me after we hung out together and our friends started to tease us as a couple.After we went home, then he started to act strange, not the same way around me anymore.Im not stupid.I was completely sure he had feelings for me.He even bailed his tiution to go out with me.I was thinking that it could also be because of studies since we are in the same class and he's the top student.He might think love is a hinder and can just get in his way.Or he just wants to avoid getting hurt.but altogether, he's a guy that I cant understand but somehow he's not a jerk to me.I cant hate him.It's also my fault to play along with him.Im not sure about moving on though,since I see him in class everyday.
Just act normal. Give him his space if that's what he wants. Don't push the relationship though. It could be his studies. But that's still no reason to ignore you. He could let you know what's going on with him so that you're not left in the clouds because right now he's not making you feel too good. Keep it cool. Don't let him know you're bothered. Just go on with your normal life. I know that may be hard because you have feelings for him, but you can't put your life on hold for him either.