Teenage Problems/Should I move on?
Hi,,Im 16 yrs old.I'm kind of in a difficult position right now.It might seem a little crazy but yeah..I need advice.Two weeks ago..my classmate..a guy started chatting with me online.I was surprised because he never talked to me before and neither did I notice him.We are in the same class this year.We communicate often, through social website, texting ,calling and etc.We got really close..I started to grow feelings for him.And we even hung out together,though there were other friends with us.They said we both looked like couples since we were really close and when I rested my head on his shoulder,he didn't mind at all.I thought he had the same feelings for me too.And then suddenly, since a week ago, he stopped everything.The chatting,calling,texting etc.It was so obvious he's avoiding me.Whenever I text him all he says is Im eating,I got homework,Im sleepy..and so on.I know he's avoiding me but why ? When I asked him a few days ago..all he said is..he is not avoiding me.I tried my best to get an answer but he was laughing instead.He thinks I was joking.I do not know what to do now.I still have feelings for him and Im dying to know why is he ignoring me ? Did he found out I have feelings for him and thought of avoiding me because we don't have a chance ? Or is it something else..should I move on ? should I wait ? I can't seem to forget him.I wanna be with him more than anything.Is it because of the exams next month ? He is the top student in my class..I am also worried on how to focus on anything else when he is in my mind all day.I still wait for him to talk to me.He doesn't look at me in school and walks a different direction if he sees me.I am so hurt.Really depressed and sad thinking about the fun we had together.People thought we were actually dating when they see us..but now ? I have no idea what is going on. And today, he actually borrowed my notebook, and also looked at me and maybe was not ignoring me. I just don't understand this guy ! Is he shy ? Is he scared ? He used to like me status and comments on facebook but after we hung out..I thought we were gonna get close instead we just drifted apart. Why is he doing this ? Does he like me ?
It's been a rough week for me recently so I am sorry for taking so long to reply :)
Wow, this really does sound like a confusing situation that you are in with this guy.
Guy's can be elusive and are very different emotionally to us females and I think that there are a lot of mixed messages that you are receiving from him and his behaviour. I am sure that since you wrote this there have been more developments between the two of you - after all he did need to hand you back your note pad?
Exams are next month and he is a top class student so maybe your hunch is right that he is trying to focus all his energies on them, I'm guessing a lot is expected of him by Teachers, Family and even himself. And as he asked to lend your note pad, then that could well be a sign that he is immersed in his studies and he has had to back away a bit from you so he can concentrate on his exams.
It does make me wonder whether he actually really knows what he is doing in terms of the impact this is having on you. Guys can be very dumb Premjit, my partner enlightened me on that one and he sure can be pretty dumb at times, so maybe this guy is just being a guy basically. I say that because he laughed when you approached the subject of him avoiding you - he may just not realize.
Looking at in in another way, maybe he is starting to get feelings for you as well and doesn't know how to respond which could be why he walks the other way when he see's you. This is the daft part because he did that for a few days and then asked to borrow your pad which tells me that maybe he is thinking about you just as much as you are thinking about him. Guys are definitely not the best at expressing their feelings so after you confronted him, he may have gone away and thought about it and his way of saying "No I am not avoiding you" was by asking to borrow your notes... Does that make sense? Guys operate very differently to us Premjit.
I wish I could tell you exactly what is going on with him and what's in his mind but I can't, all I can do is offer you ideas on why he is acting the way he is.
There is a saying here in the UK that goes "It will all come out in the wash", meaning that the truth of a situation will eventually come out in to the open. I know it's driving you crazy thinking about him, but if you just ride the storm, be patient and wait to see what happens with him. It may be a completely different situation once the exams are over. But if he continues to ignore you on Facebook, online, at School, then I would say to you that you should move on as that would be a clear indication that he doesn't want to be with you sadly.
It's easy for me to say "Try not to think about him" as that never works, but I would suggest that you too put your energies into your exams and wait to see what happens after the stress of those are out of the way. Don't let thoughts of him overwhelm you if you have exams too as you will be so mad at yourself if you let him affect your grades. Again, easier said than done.
Are there any mutual friends of you both that you can ask to find out what is happening with him and if he likes you or not? Because that will be a good way to find out what what's going on, provided he is open with them as well.
Honestly Premjit, it is impossible to say for sure, but in time you will eventually find out the truth and maybe just keep that in the back of your mind and try to get on with your life in the meantime.
I'm sorry that I could not be of more help, all relationships can get pretty weird at times especially in the beginning. And your best bet is to wait until the exams are over and see how he then reacts. And if it does go back to the way it was then you will know it was the exams that caused him to distance himself. If it doesn't go back to how it was, then yes Premjit, move on.
I really hope this works out for you how you wish :)