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Teenage Problems/Sex related


I have been with my boyfriend Cory for almost three years now and last summer we started having sex once in a while and slowly increased how often and how long. I used to like it all now I can't get comfortable I don't enjoy it I feel gross and wrong. It is always consensual I rarely say no and if I do I  end up changing my answer so I don' feel like I'm hurting his feelings. I guess my question would be why do I feel like this? what can I do so that I won't feel like this? and is this permanent?

Hi Lissa,

There could be a number of reasons why you have gone off sex with Cory and one of those reasons is just that - you have gone off sex. Maybe your feelings for Cory have changed. Maybe you don't like him as much as you used to? This you need to ask yourself. Do you love him and so on. It may turn out that he no longer makes you happy, so it could be to do with your relationship with him.

Your values could have changed too. You tried sex and it was Ok at first but now it simply doesn't feel right for you anymore at the age you are. It happens especially when we are growing up that feelings about things change rather quickly. I personally think that you have tried it and now you feel that it's no longer right for you and there is nothing wrong with that.

This most certainly isn't permanent; you have just changed your mind and that's Ok. I'm guessing in the back of your mind that you want to put a hold on the relationship and wait to have sex again at a later time whether that's with Cory or not. You do have to have a chat with him about it and tell him how you feel, it's really important that you do. Because saying yes to sex, you not enjoying it, Cory thinking all is well, will just make you more and more unhappy, so talk with him as soon as possible.

I just think that you tried it and now you have decided that right now is not the time. It may have become too frequent for your liking. Maybe go back to just having sex once in a while and tell Cory that it just got too much too soon - that's what I think. Ask him to have a break from it for a while and then when you are ready have sex with him again. But do talk to him. You guys have been with each other a very long time and it sounds like a lot of love is there. Just slow the sex down until it becomes enjoyable again. And if it doesn't improve, then I will explore some other reasons with you. But for now, just tell him and be open and honest and ask that you have a break, not from each other, just from the sex part and see if how you feel improves. If not, we can talk about it some more.

Caroline :)  

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Caroline West


Hi.I can answer really all questions regarding to any problems that you are facing at the moment. You can write to me with any concerns you may be having around relationships, friends, boyfiends, girlfriends, sex, losing your virginity - I can answer any worries and doubts you may have. If you are feeling Depressed or Angry and you don't know why, I can help. Plus If you are feeling a bit lost and out of place, talk to me. Is there stuff going on at home that's causing you hurt? Are you having problems with your parents? - I'll help you. Anything as well to do with the Emotions I understand. If you are feeling like you are not coping and/or your school work is suffering, we can talk that through. Are you suffereing from bullying, cyber-bullying? I'll help. Religion, where you may be questioning your Spirituality. Drug and Alcohol problems and questions, if you're worried it's getting out of control or perhaps a friend is going through issues. Whatever's going on around you or inside you, feel free to write in. I'm here to help anyone who's having a tough time and with some tough decisions to make. And if you have wandered off the path a bit, I'll help you get back on track :)


I had a tough time being a Teenager. I had suffered bullying, feeling alone. I was very rebellious too and I hung around with the wrong type of kids and started smoking and I got into Drugs before I was even 13. I lost my Virginity at the age of 14 which I now know is a precious thing. There was a lot going on with my home life and I felt very alone with Parent's that didn't understand me. I became very depressed and felt I had no one to turn to, I felt lost. I'm older now and have dealt with the things that went on and have a better life. So I do understand and I really am here to help anyone that writes in who wants a listening ear and support :)

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I have returned to after a year long break. Before I left I had been with All Experts for over 3 years and worked in many categories ranging from Teenage Problems, Abusive Relationships to Drug/Substance Abuse and many more. I have just returned initially to help Teenagers out that are having problems.

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