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Teenage Problems/Terribly shy, i don't have friends.


I'll start off with this: I'm 16 years old and I don't have friends. When I was younger (up to till i was 13 or 14 I guess) i had maybe one or two friends I would hang out with sometimes. But then eventually, gradually something happened to seperate me from them (one moved away, one "grew up", and the other I no longer felt connected to). I actually recently had my first appointment with a therapist ( my baby nephew moved in with us and I've had an awful time dealing with that, but that story is for another time) and she said my biggest problem is that I've isolated myself and I'm alone. It really upset how she said it to me, but the truth is I DO want friends. To be honest though, people can be scary. Especially kids my own age. And I'm homeschooled, so it's even harder to make friends with other teenagers. I'm trying to be happier , to find interests that make me unique so people wouldn't just know me as "that really shy girl who doesn't talk".  I'm horrible at talking to people, I even hate taking outside classes with other kids. I get so nervous around them. Even the few kids who do try to talk to me I don't know how to not scare them away. I've never been bullied or anything, so I'm not sure why I'm like this. I would appreciate some advice though!

Hi Alexandra,

I'm not sure why you're like that either but I can tell you that you won't make any new friends if you don't open up. It's easier when kids try to talk to you. This way you don't have to approach anyone yourself. If they're talking to you, then take advantage of it. Introduce yourself. They obviously want to get to know you better if they are approaching you. They might be shy as well but they're taking a chance.

You can't be shy forever. you need to break from your shell. Your therapist is helping you figure out why you isolate yourself and you need to figure it out as well. All you have to do is be yourself. You don't need to act any certain way. Just be yourself and you'll be fine. Take a chance and if someone walks up to you and starts talking to you, then talk back. It's not going to kill you. If anything, it's going to help you so that next time you aren't so nervous.

Everyone gets nervous about something. But the key to getting over that is to face it. I was nervous in front of the camera when making my YouTube videos for my website. But I knew if I didn't do it, then my word wouldn't get out. So I get in front of that camera and talk away. And you know what? Every time I do it, it gets a bit easier. I know you're afraid, but it's okay. Take the first step and walk up to some kids you see and introduce yourself. Take it step by step, remember to breathe and you'll be fine.

Good Luck!

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Scarlet Murdock


Even though I have no teenagers of my own, I've seen, heard and have experienced a lot of things dealing with teenagers. I take the experience of me being a teen along with the problems and issues teens have today and I offer my opinions and advice. Since I'm no longer in my teens, I'm wiser, which means that I can definitely guide you in the right direction when it comes to solving your problems.

Experience is a website that I am very proud to say that I am a part of. I created this site for teenagers all over. I wanted to give you a place where you could gain some knowledge, ask questions and see what your fellow teenagers can offer you. Teen-Babble is about sharing experiences, growing and becoming a better person. I am also part of my local Boys and Girls club where I hang out with teens about 3 times a day and help them with anything I can.

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