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Teenage Problems/Hurting and Forgiving

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I have a friend and he doesn't like to trust people. So when we became close it meant a lot to me that he trusted me. Well he likes this girl and she likes him. He didnt want me to get close to the girl however because he didn't want me to say something that could make him seem vulnerable or anything, however he said who am I to tell you who you can and can't be friends with? Anyways, I ended up telling the girl he liked her and then i told my guy friend. He was so upset with me. He knew I had good intentions, and I did. I wanted the two to go out so they could be happy. He deserves someone to make him happy, but I crossed the line. He told me not to tell a single person and of all the people I tell, I tell the girl he likes. I hate myself. I literally do. I wish he would understand how torn up I am about this. I wish he could forgive me, but he said he didn't know when he would. Why did I do this though? I didn't have any intentions of hurting him... He's a great friend. Maybe I'm not the good friend here? Maybe I'm the one that doesn't deserve a friend like him. What do you think? He's been there for me when I've gone through my anxiety attacks and when I discussed suicide (which I will not do, I've just thought it). He hates when I degrade myself because Im too hard on myself. So do I really Deserve a friend like that when I've hurt him so much by doing this one thing? I apologize if I'm rambling, but i wanted to hear someone else's opinion besides a peer. It also hurts me because I've given him a reason to distrust me and I hate that. I want him to forgive me because I can't forgive myself until he's forgiven me. It's just part of my character. Thank you for listening and I anticipate your response. Sincerely, Eric B.

Answer
Go to your friend and ask him to forgive you and that you thought it was to help him. He is hurting as well. He may want to forgive you but cannot yet do so. If you tell someone that you made an error in judgement and that you will do your best to not make such an error again and they still say they do not forgive you, then let it go. The chances are very good the person will forgive you. You may want to look up a famous chapter in the New American Standard Version of the Holy Bible, in the First Book of Corinthians, Chapter 13.  I suggest reading only the New American Standard Version since the language is very hard hitting at the person who reads it. Its about love. You will see one verse that reads ..."love does not take into account a wrong suffered"...  Guys love girls and girls love guys but guys also love one another even if they never say that to each other.

Teenage Problems

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Jonathan

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I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.

Experience

I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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