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Teenage Problems/Abstinence in a relationship


Hello. I'm 16 years old, and I am in a wonderful relationship with someone who makes me feel so very special, he's 18. We are so happy together. Anyway, the two of us try our best to be very open and honest with eachother and we believe that communication is key. We've talked so much about refraining from havin sex until we hopefully get married someday. I have made it a point to tell him that I have made a promise to myself and God that I would wait until marriage, and that is very important to me. And the great part is, my boyfriend respects that. The only problem is that we find ourselves in situations where it becomes so incredibly tempting to just give in and let our hormones take over. I realize that it only takes one time, so our goal is to hold off until marriage. That way it's something special. I would consider myself and my boyfriend fairly level-headed, but it gets very difficult at times to refrain from having sex. So I guess my question for you is How can we get past those tempting times and stay safe when it is so difficult? Do you have any advice that you believe would benefit us? Thank you so much for your help.

Hi Karli,

I first want to say that I admire you. You are so ahead of most of your generation. I'm enthused that you as well as your boyfriend are willing to wait until marriage to have sex. You guys are rare gems.

Now, I understand how tempting it can be to give in. But I know that you realize that giving in to temptation is not worth you breaking your promise to God.

Try not to put yourself in the situations that lead up to you two becoming tempted. Now that may be hard to do seeing as though kissing and rubbing can definitely lead to other things. There's nothing wrong with kissing and stuff. But when you feel like it's getting hot and heavy, then pull back.

For example, I'm married and there are times when my husband wants to have sex but I'm not able to. We find ourselves kissing and such, but when I know it's about to go there, I stop him because I know that he won't stop. He hates it but I know it's for the best.

I know how awfully difficult it can be but I know you will make it. Holding out doesn't have to be a chore either. There are other ways to be intimate without going all the way. Now of course it's no fun when you have to stop being intimate to prevent from having sex, but no one said it would be easy.

When you feel like you're really being tempted, break away and grab your bible. Start reading it and God will help you stay strong. Pray about it as well. Just keep in your mind that God will forgive you no matter what you do, but your goal in this situation is to not need his forgiveness if you stay strong and have a little will power.

Good luck with everything Karli and again, I am so proud of you. Keep up the good work :-)


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Scarlet Murdock


Even though I have no teenagers of my own, I've seen, heard and have experienced a lot of things dealing with teenagers. I take the experience of me being a teen along with the problems and issues teens have today and I offer my opinions and advice. Since I'm no longer in my teens, I'm wiser, which means that I can definitely guide you in the right direction when it comes to solving your problems.

Experience is a website that I am very proud to say that I am a part of. I created this site for teenagers all over. I wanted to give you a place where you could gain some knowledge, ask questions and see what your fellow teenagers can offer you. Teen-Babble is about sharing experiences, growing and becoming a better person. I am also part of my local Boys and Girls club where I hang out with teens about 3 times a day and help them with anything I can.

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