Teenage Problems/BOYS

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Question
Hi!

I never thought this would bother me until now but this actually really bugs me so here it goes:
I'm a 17 year old girl who's never had any guy friend!
Boys barely talk to me, and this is extremely weird. I'm a positive young woman who's always smiling, I always help people and try to be as friendly as possible. I say hello to everyone at school and try to start conversations with people. When I'm eating candy or like anything else I always ask people if they would like some. Since I'm a smart kid I always help those who ask me, and this is not bragging or anything but I have to tell you how I really am. People who describe me usually use the words cute (!!) confident, smart, bubbly, sweet, brave, beautiful and fun to hang out with! I have a lot of girl friends and we're always having fun together, but even they notice that boys and I don't get on really well. I've been thinking and there's no extremely thing about me..
I stand for what I believe is right and if I see someone doing wrong I'd tell them. If someone's mean or bullys another kid I stand up for them and help them. I'm a tiny girl and people get surprised when they see how brave I actually am. Also, I can be mean at times when people are mean to me but this has never happened since I started upper secondary school and I thought it would get better but it didnt. Somehow buys always manage to ignore me..There are so many guys I know that I could become really good friends with but since ever since I was a kid I've had the same problem and everytime I moved school I've hoped that it will get better. As I said I didnt care about this until now, after my first year in upper secondary, and it bugs me so much that I decided to ignore boys. I'm not gonna talk to anyone or be kind to anyone. I don't wanna seem desperate (and trust me I'm not that desperate yet even though I might sound so)
I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT IT FREAKS ME OUT.
What's wrong with me? :O

Answer
Hello,

My best advice that I can give is to try to find a guy who might be friends with one of your friends. This is probably the best way to meet guy friends, especially if you've never had any guy friends. Meeting them through your friends will ensure that you are meeting someone within an already established circle of friends, not to mention that you have someone close enough to both of you to help mediate when situations get hairy. Your girls know you very well and chances are, they may have guy friends that would mesh very well with your personality. Reading your question, though, I have to wonder if maybe there is something you are doing (consciously or subconsciously) that might be putting guys off to make them feel like you're not approachable. It could be a whole array of things, from the way you present yourself to how you act when you're around guys. Are you super shy and quiet or are you really loud and hyperactive? Or are you just casual and relaxed. Sometimes being one of the two extremes can put someone off.

I personally feel that it's great to have friends that are both guys and girls because it helps prepare us for the real world with people (college and beyond). Talk to your girlfriends and see if they have a guy friend that they think you would mesh well with, and see if the three of you could go somewhere fun, like the mall, or even a good movie. Good movies provide great conversations later so maybe that could be a great way to start for you. If you and the guy hit it off, it could just be the start of a great friendship.

Good luck!

Brittney

Teenage Problems

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Brittney

Expertise

I can answer any questions that have to deal with managing friendships between girls and boys. Question topics can include: dating, how to handle disputes, jealousy, how to know when one is being taken advantage of, healing friendships, and other topics similar to these. Other topics include how to handle disagreements with parents, or dealing with parent child relations in general. If you are a parent and want to ask a question, I can answer questions regarding how to relate to your kid in this generation, the best way to surprise them with that gift they've been wanting, etc.

Experience

Life has been my teacher. I have always been the go to person when friends had disputes and have successfully fixed many friendships between my friends and their friends. I grew up in a family with a doting dad and an emotionally distant mom, and I have dealt with emotional and verbal abuse from my mom for a few years. We have since repaired our relationship, and I have used my experiences with her to help friends deal with their issues with their parents.

Education/Credentials
I studied psychology in college. I was also a child development major for toddler through age 18. I enjoyed studying the periods of adolescence & teen years (10-18) because these are the years children start really figuring out who they are, as well as it being a time where maintaining friendships is important.

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