Teenage Problems/divorce


Ok so I donít know where to begin really so I will start with defining the people in my family.
My Mother: I love my mother like crazy she really nice we like spending time together and she is really nice to my friends. But she is not home a lot because my bad lost his job and now he has a part time job and works less then my sister and my mom teaches and is working to get her masersí degree so she does not have to work so hard, but she has to ďsecureĒ her job she is the softball and bowling coach. And I miss her a lot of the time, but she needs to keep her job.
My older sister: She is 18 and going off to college this fall and I will miss her. We might fight a lot but I mean we can be in the same room with each other and we get along ok most of the time. And when she home its nice she is like my mom in a lot of ways and I hope to be like her.
My Father: an old man who doesnít work ,can barely walk, absorbs food that I and my mother make, spends money we donít have , drives recklessly, and doesnít  talk all he does is yell. I know that you might think I am pointing out the bad things but thatís all there is. He scars all my friends if you ask them they would say yes. The other day he yelled at me for a fan being turned on (my house is an average of 90 degrees unless I turn on a fan).
I want to my parents to get a devoice I donít know if I am actually seeing the dislike between my parents or its just teen hormones? And should I talk to my mom about this, or should I just wait 5 years until i`m free from my dad.
Thank you for your time

Hi Katie,

Thank you for writing to me.  From what you have written, I take it that you are about 13 years old.  I understand that you are now beginning your teenage years and your hormones are raging to the point that you need your mother there for you.  You seem to have a wonderful relationship with your mother and a good, sibling, relationship with your sister.  What you are seeing now is that your father is no help to the family and therefore, you see him as not being a part of the family. This is the man that your mother chose.  Apparently she loves him or she would have put him out.  You can speak with your mother about cutting the fan on and how he yells at you.  Let your mother handle your father.  As a child,  that is not your place.  The one thing that you do not want to do is to build a wedge between your parents.  If your father can barely walk how can he get a job?  Your mother sees the same things that you see.  It is not your place to suggest a divorce.  I commend your mother for going after her master's degree.  This will not be forever. It is just a temporary setback in your relationship.  Just think, as you get older and want and need more things such as prom dresses, graduating fees, etc, you will appreciate the money that your mother will make so that she can afford these things.  As a young adult, you want what you want and you want it now.  You have to let your mother handle the situation with your father.  You can sit down with your mother and discuss the situation, but not a divorce.  Since your mother is not home a lot, she may not realize the home situation.  You may miss your mother now, but when she can get a better job and spend more time with you, you will be grateful.  

Dr. Lee

Teenage Problems

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Dr. Shirley M Lee


I can answer questions relating to youth that are on probation, arrested, has anger management issues, lack of impulse control, problems in school and substance abuse issues. Additionally, I can answer questions about youth with sex issues, domestic violence, child abuse, child sex abuse, as the abuser and the one that has been abused, parent abuse, physical, mental and psychological abuse. I answer questions about marriage and divorce. I can't answer questions about medication that has been ordered by a psychiatrist and it's side affects or should you stop taking it. I can answer the question as to what reason the medication was ordered.


I have been providing care, guidance, and social services for children, adolescents, and their families for 32plus years. I work with young people who struggle with behavioral problems and issues at home and school. I assist our youth in developing healthy living habits and motivate them to become productive citizens. In addition, I work with the parents and families to motivate and encourage strengthening the family. I have worked with families that have been homeless, in poverty, peer pressure, and bullying. I currently counsel with youth that are on probation for battery, domestic violence, petit and petite theft, substance substance abuse and sex offenders. I also speak with their teachers and go into the homes and schools. I am a mentor to all these children and their parents. When help is needed beyond my expertise I will suggest where to take the child to receive the proper services.


Published 6 books and were sold at the Christian Book Store for one year.

Ph.d in Sacred Religious Counseling; Ph.d in Counseling Psychology; MA in Public Administration; BA in Paralegal; Clinically Certified Domestic Violence Counselor; CFARS (CHILDREN'S FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE); and for adults the FARS (FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE. I am also a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor.

Awards and Honors
Biblical Studies with highest Honors. Magna Cum laude.

Past/Present Clients
In the past I worked for two different agencies as a Case Manager, a Therapist and a Counselor for the youth. I worked under the leadership of the two agencies as an independent contractor. 3 years ago I began working my own business, which has been in existence since 2002 in counseling. Presently I am working with youth that are on probation and is court ordered to take an anger management and/or impulse control class with me. I am also registered with the county to perform marriage counseling and weddings.

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