Teenage Problems/groping

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Question
hey,i have known this guy for a year now.He was my neighbor but then we moved last year.i still go back to the neighborhood because my aunt still lives there and i babysit her kids.But yesterday,he started touching my boobs and private area,rubbing his private parts on my butt and asking me to feel his penis he said that he just wanted me to flash him my boobs and he would stop bothering me.i did not do it.He even wanted me to touch his penis.The was taking my hand and trying to get it into his pants so i would touch him.The reason why i am confused is because i used to like him but the feelings just disappeared .But i  am scared because i think that the feelings are coming back.i just want to  make out with him and nothing serious. is it bad that i want to do that even after he groped me like that?i am uncomfortable with him groping me but i would not mind making out with him.is it normal?

Answer
Hello,

Sounds like there is a lot going on here.

Groping is something that is usually reserved for couples that have been in long term committed relationships, and marriages, because of the fact that it is sexual in nature. This does not mean that it can't happen sooner, because if both members of the relationship have discussed it and are comfortable with each other to do so, then it may still happen. If he is taking your hand and attempting to put it down his pants and you are NOT comfortable with that type of behavior, it is considered sexual harassment. Tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable when he does these things and that you will not accept this behavior from him. Then tell him that you will cut all ties with him will be cut if he continues to treat you in this manner. You are making it plainly clear at this point what you like and don't like and you are giving boundaries and limitations to your relationship (whether it's romantic or platonic). You are also providing him with the consequences up front in letting him know that the friendship will be terminated if he chooses to continue to act that way.

DO NOT make out with him if he is treating you in this way. Making out with him while your feel the way you do right now will only send mixed signals to him and it could leave him feeling confused as well as making the situation confusing for yourself. It will be too easy for those lines to get blurred and making out could lead to sex real quick if it's not controlled...especially if you had feelings for him before and are starting to have feelings for him again. He should not have the privilege to engage in making out with you if he can't even respect the simple boundaries of "no, I'm not comfortable with touching your penis, etc." Make him work for that privilege.

I hope I have answered your question in my response. Feel free to email me back if you need more clarification as to how to better deal with the situation.

Good Luck!

Brittney

Teenage Problems

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Brittney

Expertise

I can answer any questions that have to deal with managing friendships between girls and boys. Question topics can include: dating, how to handle disputes, jealousy, how to know when one is being taken advantage of, healing friendships, and other topics similar to these. Other topics include how to handle disagreements with parents, or dealing with parent child relations in general. If you are a parent and want to ask a question, I can answer questions regarding how to relate to your kid in this generation, the best way to surprise them with that gift they've been wanting, etc.

Experience

Life has been my teacher. I have always been the go to person when friends had disputes and have successfully fixed many friendships between my friends and their friends. I grew up in a family with a doting dad and an emotionally distant mom, and I have dealt with emotional and verbal abuse from my mom for a few years. We have since repaired our relationship, and I have used my experiences with her to help friends deal with their issues with their parents.

Education/Credentials
I studied psychology in college. I was also a child development major for toddler through age 18. I enjoyed studying the periods of adolescence & teen years (10-18) because these are the years children start really figuring out who they are, as well as it being a time where maintaining friendships is important.

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