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Teenage Problems/i would like some help


ok so im not a teen yet but 12 is close enouph right anyways i like this guy i dont know why he cheated in me and your probablly thinking how does he cheat scine we dont have sex he dates another girl ya but i dont under stand why i like him so much any advice on how to get over him


Upon reading your question, a few things stood out to me: your age, cheating, and the guy is dating another girl.

Age: At 12 years old, you have not even begun to grasp the concept of love, dating, and even cheating. You are still very young and while I understand that boys are probably now on the radar, you are not even emotionally ready to begin dating. Having close guy friends is another story, but in my personal opinion, you're still very young and should not be dating anyone yet. Be more concerned with school work and just enjoy being a kid. Believe me, once you hit the adult world, you will miss the years you spent just living life. The same goes for the boys. 12 year old boys may not be fully interested or grasp the concept of dating and commitment to just ONE girl until they are about in high school. Right now, everyone is trying to figure out who they are, and who they are going to be.

Cheating: Sex does not have to be present in a relationship for cheating to occur. A couple could be completely abstinent (having no sex at all) and one could still cheat on the other. Cheating can be defined in the following ways: Physical and emotional. Physical cheating is the easiest to identify and classify, while those who are cheating emotionally may not even realize it at first. Physical cheating isn't just having sexual intercourse with someone other than your partner. This is doing anything physical with someone that your partner will not approve of, and that should be reserved for a partner alone. Depending on the boundaries in a particular relationship, this could mean caressing, kissing, holding, improper touching, and so on up to and including intercourse.

The guy is dating another girl: This is where I'm finding a disconnect in regards to your question. You did not state whether or not the boy in question is/was in a relationship with YOU. You state that he is cheating but that he is dating another girl. If you had only just liked the boy but you were never in a relationship together (there was no mutual agreement to enter into one or it was just an emotional/physical attraction and you've never even discussed the idea of dating), then he never cheated on you to begin with. There was no agreement to commitment and therefore, you cannot be upset with him for seeing someone else. If you two were a couple and he began to see another girl while you two were in a committed relationship, then I can understand the frustration.

As far as getting over him, only time and distance from him will help. If he is a mutual friend between you and your girl friends, don't completely blow him off. Keep things civil, but do not allow yourself to be in a position where you are alone with him, until you are sure you have no feelings for him whatsoever. If it's emotionally too hard for you, then cut ties with him all together. If he is not a mutual friend (i.e. you have no other connection to him other than the one forged between the two of you) then just cut ties. If you two end up at the same high school, chances are you will be more mature and you both will be able to handle the stresses of teen dating (if you two choose to try again) or you two may be able to maintain a great friendship.

As I said before, you are 12 and you haven't even begun to grasp the full concept of dating and relationships. They are complex and can be very complicated. They are emotional and can be filled with great joy or great heart ache, depending on each individual scenario. Focus on school, or sports that you're involved with. Do you. The boys will come later.

Good luck, & I hope this helps!


Teenage Problems

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I can answer any questions that have to deal with managing friendships between girls and boys. Question topics can include: dating, how to handle disputes, jealousy, how to know when one is being taken advantage of, healing friendships, and other topics similar to these. Other topics include how to handle disagreements with parents, or dealing with parent child relations in general. If you are a parent and want to ask a question, I can answer questions regarding how to relate to your kid in this generation, the best way to surprise them with that gift they've been wanting, etc.


Life has been my teacher. I have always been the go to person when friends had disputes and have successfully fixed many friendships between my friends and their friends. I grew up in a family with a doting dad and an emotionally distant mom, and I have dealt with emotional and verbal abuse from my mom for a few years. We have since repaired our relationship, and I have used my experiences with her to help friends deal with their issues with their parents.

I studied psychology in college. I was also a child development major for toddler through age 18. I enjoyed studying the periods of adolescence & teen years (10-18) because these are the years children start really figuring out who they are, as well as it being a time where maintaining friendships is important.

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