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Teenage Problems/Teenage Crush

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Question
Hi, doctor Lee, I dont know if you'll remember when I wrote to you a few months ago about me have a crush on my 21 year old sister's brother-in-law, but the wedding already happened, and here's the outcome: He followed me on twitter and we took a picture together on his phone and he tagged me in it on Facebook. My cousin taught me a way to see who looks at your Facebook page, and most of the girls who I assumed were having sex with him have been looking at my Facebook and Twitter. My crush isn't tweeting much about doing drugs anymore, but he does swear alot and goes on Twitter rants. Also, the new Facebook chat shows the friends that are looking at your Facebook, and he's number 2 on my list, so he obviously looks at it a lot. During the wedding reception, to see if he liked me, I flirted with him a little to see, and it seems as if he really does like me, but I don't know if he really does, if he does enough to wait for me, or if he just want to get in my pants, but I'm more worried about his well being more than a crush. If he says anything drastic on the internet, should I tell my sister or his brother? And his... sex-buddies... What should I do about them looking at my stuff? I lock down my page and stuff, but I don't want to delete my Facebook and Twitter. We talked a lot going to the reception and he seemed nice, but it's like he's one person on the internet and another in person.

Answer
Hi Celeste,

Thanks for writing to me again.  Yes, I remember you.  As I stated before, go on and live your life until you are old enough for him.  Right now, you are just someone that he probably cares about but not to have a relationship with.  He knows you so he will correspond with you on facebook and twitter.  Don't take it that he wants to date you.  I'm glad that he no longer speaks about drugs, but you don't need the swearing either.  He likes you as a friend.  

You should not tell your sister or brother-in-law what you read on the Internet unless it is something that would hurt or harm him or someone else.  The only way to stop his "sex buddies" from looking at your facebook is to close the one you have and open another one.  

Some people are one person on the Internet because they do not have to look in your face and get a response.  However, when you are in person, a person can see your disappointment, your facial expressions, and your a lot of times, your feelings.  Please enjoy your young years. You can never get them back. I hope you will never look back on these years and have regrets.  You do not know if you and him will ever be an item.  

Respectfully,
Dr. Lee

Teenage Problems

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Dr. Shirley M Lee

Expertise

I can answer questions relating to youth that are on probation, arrested, has anger management issues, lack of impulse control, problems in school and substance abuse issues. Additionally, I can answer questions about youth with sex issues, domestic violence, child abuse, child sex abuse, as the abuser and the one that has been abused, parent abuse, physical, mental and psychological abuse. I answer questions about marriage and divorce. I can't answer questions about medication that has been ordered by a psychiatrist and it's side affects or should you stop taking it. I can answer the question as to what reason the medication was ordered.

Experience

I have been providing care, guidance, and social services for children, adolescents, and their families for 32plus years. I work with young people who struggle with behavioral problems and issues at home and school. I assist our youth in developing healthy living habits and motivate them to become productive citizens. In addition, I work with the parents and families to motivate and encourage strengthening the family. I have worked with families that have been homeless, in poverty, peer pressure, and bullying. I currently counsel with youth that are on probation for battery, domestic violence, petit and petite theft, substance substance abuse and sex offenders. I also speak with their teachers and go into the homes and schools. I am a mentor to all these children and their parents. When help is needed beyond my expertise I will suggest where to take the child to receive the proper services.

Organizations
AACC (AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS) AND THE BAACC (BLACK AFRICAN-AMERICAN CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS).

Publications
Published 6 books and were sold at the Christian Book Store for one year.

Education/Credentials
Ph.d in Sacred Religious Counseling; Ph.d in Counseling Psychology; MA in Public Administration; BA in Paralegal; Clinically Certified Domestic Violence Counselor; CFARS (CHILDREN'S FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE); and for adults the FARS (FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE. I am also a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor.

Awards and Honors
Biblical Studies with highest Honors. Magna Cum laude.

Past/Present Clients
In the past I worked for two different agencies as a Case Manager, a Therapist and a Counselor for the youth. I worked under the leadership of the two agencies as an independent contractor. 3 years ago I began working my own business, which has been in existence since 2002 in counseling. Presently I am working with youth that are on probation and is court ordered to take an anger management and/or impulse control class with me. I am also registered with the county to perform marriage counseling and weddings.

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