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Teenage Problems/I love my sisters


QUESTION: prejudice:
My name is Antonio and I'm 14 years old, and my sisters are called Ilaria stefania 14 and 12years.
a little bit of time from the three of us love each other as boyfriends and sleep together, our love is true.
we wanted to know how to behave? we have to tell our parents? What does it mean to you?
our parents know that we sleep together and say nothing
it all came about by chance while we cuddle faceamo
Thanks for the advice

ANSWER: In some cultures brothers and sisters may sleep together out of necessity. From what you describe it sounds like your love for each other is going beyond the kind of love that brothers and sisters normally have for each other. It sounds like you are talking about "romantic" love which is something not unheard of but not something that a cultural group would approve of. In every family, the father does not have a relationship with his daughters or sons except that of parent child love.  The same applies to the mother. The children may have love for each other or there may be rivalry feelings among the children. It sounds like you are "flirting" with the subject of "incest" which is sex between blood relatives like between family members. How should you behave? Well since two of you are 14 you are both in puberty and there are always dangers of sexual activity occurring. It is possible that your sisters may be half sisters or perhaps you and your 14 year old sister are twins. You did not make that clear.  Do you have to tell your parents? They are certain to ask whether all of you have sexual feelings for each other. All cultures have an "incest taboo". This prevents genetic diseases from occurring if close blood relatives indulge in incest. Your parents may not know about your feelings for one another if your feelings go beyond just wanting to be close to each other. Since you live in Italy, you are probably Roman Catholic. I suggest you make a visit to your local church and go to confession , and speak to the priest about what your feelings are for your two sisters. The priest cannot reveal anything you tell him in the confessional. He is bound by church law to never reveal anything a person tells him. If your questions do not involve anything of a sexual nature, then perhaps in your culture it is not unusual for opposite sex children to share a bed. However, you say "our love is true". This makes it sound like you are getting in dangerous waters.

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QUESTION: my sister and I are twins
goes beyond our love, we happen to also make sex
Why can not I love my sisters? we behave like normal boyfriends
Thanks for the advice

ANSWER: Hi Antonio, Well you are twins and that makes it incest and what will you do when she becomes pregnant? If you are having sex, its only a matter of time. 14 is far to young to be having sex anyway.  Sex is reserved for married couples. You and your sister cannot possibly get married to each other. At your ages you both should normally be looking outside your immediate family toward someone of the opposite sex. The vast majority of young guys like you are noticing young girls their own age and your sister likewise should be looking for guys her age at your school.  By the way you write English perfectly. I suggest you NOT make known to anyone at your school or to any counselor about what you and your sister are doing. Believe me they will not understand. If any authorities learn of this they will remove either you or both of your sisters from your parents home. I still think you should mention this to a priest in the anonymity that the confessional provides. The priest will be able to advise you. Your parents will likely be shocked if they find out and while I know you and your sisters are close, especially a twin, you are still brother and sister. In past ages, in some countries like Egypt, marriage between brother and sisters was required to preserve the line of royalty. It did not mean there was any love relationship between them. Marriages in the past have been arranged solely to create alliances between two countries to maintain peace. Again, the two people probably never met and they appeared together in front of their Governing court.  Later, they each had their own boyfriends and girlfriends. If you need to ask a followup question feel free to do so.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I know that we can not marry and we know what is incest
when we do "a few times" sex we use all precautions.
however, what we do and kiss in the mouth and sleeping together naked, "what's the harm if we kiss and sleep together naked"
we are careful and we are aware.
we do not tell anybody anything God forbid
thank you so much advice

Well, about harm? It does not bother either of you right now but now you are both young teens. You do not have the emotional maturity that people in their 20's do. The latest research says that our brains do not fully mature until age 25.  So you are doing what people who have committed themselves to each other as in marriage. You did not say anything about your younger sister.  You said you love your sisters.  Here is a chapter from the bible you need to read. Look up on the Internet, The New American Standard version. Look up in the First Book of Corinthians, Chapter 13. It is the greatest words you will ever read about what Love really is. There is a difference between love and lust. Love is not sex and sex is not love. To put things simply, what the two of you are doing is "sin". It sounds as if you have not been well grounded in the things of God. If you believe in God and understand why his son gave his life for all of us and what we all need to do in order to be "saved", then you would not be involved in sin. You may ask "saved" from what. We are all going to give an account of our life one day. On that day we will be judged.  In 1917 in the village of Fatima, Portugal three illiterate shepherd children had an angel visit them three times (1916), then in 1917 the Blessed Mother appeared to them for six months always on the 13th day of the month. On the last visit The Miracle of the Sun occurred, which was foretold by the Blessed Mother on the exact day and time. It was witnessed by 70,000 people. The Blessed Mother Told the children three secrets. One was that the first world war would end, but if people did not stop offending God another far worse war would come upon the earth, that was World War 2, she confirmed the existence of hell, purgatory, and heaven. You can look up all this information on your computer. Or ask your parents about it. The third secret was not written down until the 1940's and was sealed in an envelope and sent to the Pope ,not to be opened until 1960. It was opened by the Pope in 1960 but was not revealed. It was opened and read by further Popes, but none revealed what was in the letter. Finally in 2000 or 2002 Pope John Paul 2 made the letter known. It concerned the shooting of a Pope and he realized he was the Pope the secret referred to. This  is a lot of information but the three of you each have a spirit, a soul that is immortal, and a body. Upon a persons death the soul separates from the body and is judged. The spirit returns to God who gave it.  

Teenage Problems

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I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.


I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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