Teenage Problems/problems at college
QUESTION: I'm a 19 year old girl studying in second year at an engineering college in India. I stay in the hostel on college campus. I really find it frustrating being a girl here. I mean I find the other girls boring, in the hostel , and in my class. I sit alone in the class as the girls seem idiotic in their talking. In the hostel too, nobody is very lively or interesting. I had one good friend with whom I used to enjoy a lot but now she's gone to live at another place. My guy friends enjoy so much in their hostel, I always get frustrated as I don't have girl friends like that to enjoy with. What should I do? I'm really not the girlish type, to like shopping and stuff. I feel different and awkward and bored with all the girls around me. Nobody has the same likes or hobbies as me. Please help me.
ANSWER: Hey Avada,
Thank you for writing to me. I am also an engineering student like you, I have been living in different hostels since the past 8 years. I agree it can be very difficult to find people with similar choices and tastes. But hostel life teaches you to adjust with various types of people, you can learn a lot from it.You don't have to hang out with these girls, but in a hostel no one can survive alone, you need friends.
You are just different from them, you need to expand your social circle by joining some activity or club or by making friends outside of your hostel. Whatever suits you best.
Hope my reply helps!
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QUESTION: thanks! It did help, I'm looking for some club in my city I can join. Actually I have a tough time talking to new people, being a complete introvert. And strangely, I'm always more comfortable with guys. My boyfriend stays with me as much as he can, but he has his own life after all. Mostly when I'm alone I just pursue my passion of sketching or listen to music, but you do need people in your life after a certain amount of time. If you could help with the introversion thing, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks again for the quick reply.
Reading your post reminds me a lot about myself or how I was. Some people are never really the group type. I have always found it difficult to fit into these groups. I keep consoling myself saying I am meant to stand out.. lol!!
Anyway, introverts are fun to be around once you get to know them. You are just shy and you need a little help to break down those walls. I suggest you work on your self esteem and confidence, and keep reminding yourself how good and special you are. Once you have that ego boost, I can tell you it will be a lot more easier to hang around other people.
I was one of the biggest introverts in my school life,I had zero friends and now I turned out to be the clown of the group. My friends say they enjoy my company because I am funny.Well, this happened because I stopped worrying about what others would talk about me or what would happen in the future. If I am dumb, then I accepted it and learnt to laugh at myself.I just let things be. Life is a lot easier like that.
Also you are lucky you have a boyfriend. Good luck!!
Ask me any follow ups if you want.