Teenage Problems/Threats

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Question
What do I do? I broke up with my boyfriend because I was unhappy in the relationship, I ended it politely with no arguments or swearing. But then out of no-where he says "just to let you know, you're on the list. If I EVER go out to kill people, you will be one of them" "you're dead" "I'm going to kill you".
And he proceeded with abusive language saying I'm an evil fucking bitch and stuff like that which doesn't worry me as it's name calling. See what I'm worried about is that he's crazy. Absolutely mad, psycho, his last girlfriend when they broke up he stabbed all her items he had. I'm scared he'll do something he knows where I live and I don't know what to expect. People do know, as in family, but also don't know what actions should be took. Help?

Answer
Hi Jess, he sounds dangerous to me, especially since he made a verbal threat. I suggest you first let your parents know exactly what he threatened to do. They should take you to the local police so this can be made a record of. I would not be afraid of him. In the USA people have to get an "Order of Protection" which tells the person he cannot call you or come to where you live or come within 500 feet of you . If he does any of these things you can call the police and tell them you have an order of protection against this person and he has approached you or called you or shown up where you live. He is then subject to arrest. He will be served with the Order of Protection (it probably has a different name in the UK).  In the USA you have to keep a copy of the Order of Protection on you at all times. If you are in a public place or in a private place and he shows up, you will need to show the order to the police so they can act.  Since he stabbed the items the last girlfriend had, he may advance to stabbing you , especially since this is another rejection for him. Do Not agree to get back together with him. Make sure you are with people when you are away from your house. When people breakup they sometimes respond this way. But since he has such a volatile temper, its better to proceed cautiously. Of course, it sometimes happens that an "Order of Protection" has the opposite effect. It makes the person even "more" angry and they may vow to take revenge. That has happened all too many times. If he is seen hanging around where you live or follows you from a distance that is a bad sign. He may be trying to work up the courage to assault you. If you have some male friends you can be around that would be a plus. He may know too many of your habits and schedules and comings and goings so you need to be on alert and watchful.  The police may very well visit him and tell him about the threat he made to you. That may be enough to scare him off and then again it may not.  

Teenage Problems

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Jonathan

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I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.

Experience

I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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