Teenage Problems/Confused


"Hi, my name is Aria and Im 16 years old.It's not really a big issue that im bringging up but it kind of messes with my life so I decided to ask you for some advice.I have a crush on this guy from my school,he's the same class with me.It's been six months already since I like him.The problem is him.This is how it all started.Six months ago,he started chatting with me online,I mean FACEBOOK.I was surprised because he never talked to me before and neither did I notice him although we were in the same class for 3 years.We communicated often, through social website and texting.We got really close..I started to grow feelings for him.And we even hung out together,though there were other friends with us.They said we both looked like couples since we were really close and when I rested my head on his shoulder,he didn't mind at all.I thought he had the same feelings for me too.And then suddenly,about two weeks later, he stopped everything.The chatting,texting etc.It was so obvious he's avoiding me.He would'nt even look at me.That happened exactly after we hung out and I rested my head on his shoulder.Later, after one whole month avoiding me(April),he started talking to me again,but not as it was before,plus May was our Mid Term exams so I guess we both put all our focus on that.I was worried about my results,thought they would be affected because of him but I scored very well,top 3 for my badge.He was number 4.I believed the main reason I did well is because of him.He's a smart guy who gets number 1 and I thought maybe if I do better than him, he will notice me.July on my birthday and we hung out again,although still it was never the same as the first time we went out.We started taking to each other but never got to the way we were or supposed to be.Then now in September,it's all back to the way it was, we got really close again.I started to feel that he liked me too, but I guess Im wrong again.The thing here is,this guy is probably confused about what he feels for me.He's maybe not ready for a relationship and it's not because of any ex(he never had).A few weeks ago,he's friend said we look like a couple and he just smiled at me.Then he said 'this age is to study'.That moment I got it.I agree with him.I myself am not ready for any relationship.I wanna focus on my studies and being someone someday but I can see him in my future.Im a girl and I trust my instincts.He either loves me or he did,not that he NEVER loved me.Now he's just confused about his feelings but I don't like him leading me on then leaving me hanging, ignoring me, pretending like Im a pole,invisible.I guess I just like him too much that makes me just to go along with his games.I don't wanna ask or say anything scared of rejection and losing him as a friend but Im almost sure that he knows I like him and he knew that for quite some time,however that didn't make him stop talking to me.Sometimes Im A FRIEND,MORE THAN A FRIEND,OR INVISIBLE to him.My friends notice the way he smiles and treats me ,they say he likes me,he does.I believe them and i trust my instincts but Im just not sure.Next months starts my Final Exam and Im here with this thing bugging me day and night.Why does things have to get so complicated.What should I do ? Play along ? Ask him ? Talk about it with him?? Im not sure,hope you can help me.Thanks alot for your time."

Hi Aria,

Thank you for writing to me.  Don't be confused.  I believe that he likes you but right now he is just looking for a friend in which to hang out with and study.  He does not appear to be looking for a relationship at this time because he is focused on being a 16 year old student.  He enjoys your company. However, he felt that when you laid your head on his shoulder you indicated to him that you were more interested in a relationship.  

You are young.  Just enjoy his presence and having fun hanging out with him.  He wants you for a friend and enjoy being with you.  There is no telling what the future will hold for the two of you.  The feelings that you have are real and the feelings that he has are real.  Just don't push him to decide at such an early and tender age if he is ready for a relationship commitment.

Stay on top of your grades and be the best that you can be.  You will not be surprised when he gets ready for a relationship and lay his head on your shoulder and tell you he always wanted to be around you but right now he could not handle his studies and a relationship.  

You are going to be fine.  God's best Blessings on your finals.

Dr. Lee

Teenage Problems

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Dr. Shirley M Lee


I can answer questions relating to youth that are on probation, arrested, has anger management issues, lack of impulse control, problems in school and substance abuse issues. Additionally, I can answer questions about youth with sex issues, domestic violence, child abuse, child sex abuse, as the abuser and the one that has been abused, parent abuse, physical, mental and psychological abuse. I answer questions about marriage and divorce. I can't answer questions about medication that has been ordered by a psychiatrist and it's side affects or should you stop taking it. I can answer the question as to what reason the medication was ordered.


I have been providing care, guidance, and social services for children, adolescents, and their families for 32plus years. I work with young people who struggle with behavioral problems and issues at home and school. I assist our youth in developing healthy living habits and motivate them to become productive citizens. In addition, I work with the parents and families to motivate and encourage strengthening the family. I have worked with families that have been homeless, in poverty, peer pressure, and bullying. I currently counsel with youth that are on probation for battery, domestic violence, petit and petite theft, substance substance abuse and sex offenders. I also speak with their teachers and go into the homes and schools. I am a mentor to all these children and their parents. When help is needed beyond my expertise I will suggest where to take the child to receive the proper services.


Published 6 books and were sold at the Christian Book Store for one year.

Ph.d in Sacred Religious Counseling; Ph.d in Counseling Psychology; MA in Public Administration; BA in Paralegal; Clinically Certified Domestic Violence Counselor; CFARS (CHILDREN'S FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE); and for adults the FARS (FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE. I am also a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor.

Awards and Honors
Biblical Studies with highest Honors. Magna Cum laude.

Past/Present Clients
In the past I worked for two different agencies as a Case Manager, a Therapist and a Counselor for the youth. I worked under the leadership of the two agencies as an independent contractor. 3 years ago I began working my own business, which has been in existence since 2002 in counseling. Presently I am working with youth that are on probation and is court ordered to take an anger management and/or impulse control class with me. I am also registered with the county to perform marriage counseling and weddings.

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