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Teenage Problems/Is my fiance's stag night odd or not?


I'm 28, my fiance's 31, we've been a couple for 5 years now, engaged for 2. We live in Southport, England.

His stag weekend is coming up in a few weeks (but the wedding has been postponed until we find a better venue), and this is what he's doing [quoted from itinerary]:


ATTENDING: John [my fiance, not his real name], [names removed for privacy], designated driver [name removed]


Trip out to Wigan, Manchester, Bolton, Rochdale and Oldham. Go to restaurants and takeaway shops and visit the Trafford Centre.


Trip out to Wolverhampton. Visit restaurants, takeaways, curry houses and go to retail parks [Daytime]

Visit local pub with friend as designated driver [Night-time]


Try on bikinis in local shopping centre's Primark in Liverpool [Daytime]

Go to Liverpool One [Daytime]

Go to pub in Wigan [Afternoon]


Go to Leeds, Sheffield, Barnsley and Rotherham. Visit restaurants, takeaways and retail parks . [Daytime/evening]

Get preparations for wedding.

Visit Worksop. Eat out at local cafes and restaurants.

Final wedding preparations.

Drive back.

Is this a good idea for what he's doing over his stag weekend [4 days worth!] or do I have reason to be concerned? Is it tamer than most people's idea of a stag weekend, and should I be concerned about the amount of eating, drinking and shopping they're doing?

His friend Mark told me this is the exact agenda, not something to throw people off the scent like they usually do. As for them trying on bikinis in Primark, aren't there legal issues surrounding this and could they be thrown out of the shop?

Is their stag night something I should be concerned about?

I'd appreciate any help you have - what's the best way to deal with this? It's not that I don't trust him!!

(sorry, on shared wi-fi as I write this!)

Hi there Sarah-Jane,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me and I hope that I can help.

Firstly, Congratulations on your engagement and I hope that you find the venue that is both appropriate and able to give you the wedding you are dreaming off.

To answer your question, is your fiance's stag night something to be concerned about? The short answer would be 'no'. Even though some of the things that are listed appear to involve a lot of consumption of alcohol and some rather unusual things to do, the whole point of it is to get everything out of his system before he settles down with you for the rest of his life.

Stag dos are traditionally seen by the marrying man as being 'one last chance' at living their youthful life before they settle down to become a married and responsible husband. It is a chance for them to do everything that they feel like they have missed during their youth and that they feel the need to do before they become committed individuals. It is because of this that some of the activities that they do can be seen as being quite childish and questionable but usually, it is all meant in good fun and good spirits. Stag dos are also the last opportunity for guys to really spend some time with their male friends as a group before everyone goes off and grows up.

It is the fact that he is going to be with his friends that you should not worry about what they are going to get up to or the states they will get into because his friends will always make sure he is safe and sound and more importantly, that he is ready for his wedding day.

In terms of, there trying on bikinis bit, I am sure that the staff at Primark will see this as being good natured but even if they don't, the worst thing that can happen is that he and his friends get asked to leave the shops or are forced to buy the bikinis that they have tried on for hygiene reasons. It is unlikely that anything more serious would happen unless they are deemed to be causing a nuisance but Primark will be used to it. In the off-chance that he does get arrested, he will probably cautioned and released either that day or the following day depending upon the circumstances.

All in all, I think this is just his friends trying to help him have a good time and the fact that they have a designated driver leads to me believe that they are responsible enough not to do anything that will land him in big trouble.

The only thing you need to do is remind your fiance that you love him and explain to him that he is an adult and you will not be impressed if he ends up injuring himself or ending up in trouble with the Police. Other than that, relax, enjoy the run up to your wedding and remember, you trust this guy enough to marry him so he would not do anything to jeopordise being married to you.

I hope that helps.  

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Daryl Taylor, BSc (Hons) Psychology, PGDip (pending certification)


My expertise covers everything and anything to do with growing up, being a teenager or a young adult or being the parent of one of the pre-described. I can cover issues on identity, sexuality, love, relationships, families, drug/alcohol abuse and anything and everything in between.


I have volunteered for for over ten years now, but even before that I was trying to use my experience to help others by working with, and even Lycos and Ask Jeeves. My experience comes from being a teenager primarily but this lead me to work with young people from the age of 13. I have worked front line, face to face and over the telephone, e-mail and webchat for a government department called Connexions UK (aimed at young people aged 13-19); as well as being student counselor in New York, a Peer Mentor, a student teacher and working for my school, college and University to help raise the aspirations of young people. My life has not been easy and I have been through my fair share of issues; so there is little that I haven't been through in reality opposed to just reading it from a book or from my academic studies. I have been featured as a case study as achieving through adversity for a number of magazines and I have featured in a couple of books on both sides of the Atlantic; even though I am UK based.

The Albert Kennedy Trust

Relationships: Cathy Senker, 2012, Raintree The Dean and Chapter Positive Nation GTEN Television Aim Higher

BSc(Hons) Psychology Post Graduate Diploma in Multidisciplinary Design Innovation Basic Counselling Skills Effective Listening Skills Mental Health First Aid

Awards and Honors
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Past/Present Clients Connexions Direct

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