Teenage Problems/Too Young?
I've been in an amazing relationship for a year now, actually comming closd to our anneversary! I turely love him, and he tells me everyday he loves me too. He has accepted the fact that I'm bi, has supported me when no one else will, held me through my most depressing school year, and has been my best friend since fifth grade. I want to be with him frorever, and we even make plans together, living in the same home and marrying......
I went to visit him and as we sat together putting new strings on our guitars, he stopped to look at me and started passionately kissing me, then asked that I suck on his tounge. I did so, hearing him koan and feeling his hand slide to my chest and began massaging it and squeezing, a feeling I relished. He proceded to unzip my jeans and feel my vagina through my underwear, making me gasp with pleasure as I grabbed him back. He stuck his hands up my shirt and felt his way past my bra and griped and squeezed at my bare breasts. His mom would come in and out of the room, and every moment we got alone ee spent feeling at eachother and kissing...oh god, it felt amazing. It felt natural, and right, unlike our first kiss which each of us had been nervous about. But I realize we are young. Is it okay to do this? We both enjoy it very much, and though it feels right, I often question myself just in case my emotions over take my contious. Thank you so much, and sorry for the long message.
Hi there Coaley,
Thank you for taking the time to write to me and I hope that I can help.
Firstly, it is good that you and your friend are close and have a positive relationship that has seemingly helped you through some tough times. We all need someone that we can talk to and share our life with and it sounds like, you have this with this guy which is good and it means that you and he can plan your future together.
In terms of your question, is it OK to do what you and he have been doing? Legally, for you to have any kind of sexual relationship (and that includes some of the things that you have mentioned), the law states that you have to be over 16 because under this age, you are not deemed to have the capacity or understanding to be able to consent to sex. The law sets this age limit to ensure that vulnerable young people who may have sex just to please their partners are not taken advantage of and put at risk or in danger. Anyone found to be having sex with any person under the age of 16 can be arrested and charged with the potential of a statutory rape charge; even if bot people consent. So legally, if you are under 16, then you could both potentially be at risk of breaking the law.
Sex and intimacy are good things for a relationship providing both parties consent, it is within the law and it is appropriate. Sex should be a romantic way of getting closer together and this starts by exploring each other's bodies to get to know what each of you like and enjoy. It is about taking the time to enjoy each others' company and to give and receive pleasure. It should not be a quick kiss and squeeze because you are at risk of being caught by your parents. There is also the issue around, if you are doing this now but not having penetrative sex, your boyfriend may start pushing for you and he to do this next and putting pressure on you to go through with it when you may not be ready. There are issues around making sure that you do not get pregnant, that they are protected from sexually transmitted infections and that you are both physically and mentally ready to have sex; so I would be careful.
My advice to yu would be to only do what you feel comfortable with and to not allow yourself to be pressured in to doing anything you do not. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, tell your boyfriend and ask him to stop. If he loves you he will understand and wait until you are ready. Rather say no to something you are not ready to do or feel uncomfortable with than running the risk of injuring yourself or an unwanted pregnancy.
I hope that helps.