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Teenage Problems/confidence issues..


hello..i am a 19 year old girl..the biggest and the most major problem i have to deal everyday is the one of low self esteem..i tend to loose confidence easily..and hence i fail to put my best foot forward...i am surrounded by many bright..talented students..and generally have to face the typically dumb feeling..maybe its because until now i have been in good ranks academics..and now the tables are turning..all i feel is depression and depression...i cant just stay happy..though i try alot..i really need to boost up my confidence..and stop thinking about what others will think..but i just cant make up to it..cant put it into action..

Hello Aasha,

You seem to be trying to hard and this is also occupying a lot of your time. You are thinking about yourself far too much. When we turn our thoughts inward to much we tend to focus on ourselves too much. I suggest you look into volunteering some of your time to help others who are not as well off as you are. This could be helping students who need the help of someone who is more experienced than they are.  There are many who believe that depression arises in our lives due to "anger" that we do not let go of. When we allow anger to turn inward then we become depressed. To raise your self esteem, I suggest you start standing up for yourself in all areas of your life.  If you are standing in line or waiting in a line and someone jumps ahead of you, how do you react?  
if you say nothing and just ignore it,then you are not ignoring it, you feel anger which you are not expressing.  So it turns inward and helps to make you lose more self esteem. So what you need to do is to speak up to whoever is waiting on that person by saying "Excuse me but I am next in line" or "Excuse me but WE have been waiting".  In short you need to begin to stick up for yourself and look out for your own interests. No one is going to do so for you. When I say volunteer some of your time that could be helping younger students with their school work or volunteering in a place for disabled people. You may be able to help some people learn how to use a computer or use email. When we help others it also helps us. If you find that you are feeling depressed and cannot seem to feel any better then you need to see your family doctor and tell him or her about how you are feeling, The doctor may prescribe an antidepressant drug for you to take. It often takes up to six weeks before you begin to feel any relief from depression. If you feel no relief then it may require a change in the antidepressant. Depression is a chemical problem within the brain even though life events can bring it upon us. If you need to write back feel free to do so.  

Teenage Problems

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I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.


I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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