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Teenage Problems/Son is disappointed


I am 55, my son is 25. Not a teenager, but close!
Until the last couple years, I have been able to occasionally join him and his friends playing pickup hockey, football, etc.
Lately though, I just cant keep up physically, I have two bad knees and a bad back, and my heart is not in it. I feel like I am a 'retired' jock, though I do stay in shape.
The last couple times I have begged off, he has been really disappointed in me. I don't want to tell him I am just not into it, because I still kind of am, and if my back and knees improve I might go out again. I think he sees me as being 35 not 55!
I think the problem is partly immaturity on his part, but since he is on his own and an adult, I don't want to say anything to hurt our relationship.
Apart from getting a doctors note-what can I do?

Hi, You probably just need to "level" with him by calmly telling him that your knees hurt and your back hurts and you are unable to do the physical things you once were able to do when you were his age. He should be able to understand that you are not 25 anymore. Tell him you want to participate with him but things are just too strenuous for you and that you are getting "winded" too quickly. I myself am the same way. The least bit of exertion I have to do makes me have shortness of breath. I have no pain but I realize that I no longer am able to do things I once was able to do. I walk a lot and am active but as far as strenuous sports are concerned, I'm out of it. Tell him you would like to be present with him and his friends but that the physical effort you have to do is just not something you are able to do anymore. even pro atheletes reach a time when they can no longer do their sport anymore.  

Teenage Problems

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I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.


I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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