Teenage Problems/An advice about a personal opinion
Hey scarlett :) I just wanted an opinion on this. Ok so i just turned 18 and I have never had a boyfriend before. I have always been shy around guys and so on. The problem is that i see things differently because of the way im brought up or because of my parents mentality. Ok so im a little bit convervative. Dont get me wrong: I dont judge people who date, I want to date (just havent found the right one). I just think and want at the same time someone to have a long relationship with&then perhaps end together. I know this is the ideal one but does not always happen. I get it. Its just that i personally consider a relationship perfect when you have lets say too much time together and are friends,partners,lovers and so on. Unfortunately things can happen in the middle and perhaps u may not get married but anyway true love conquers it all right? I just dont want to experiment. By experimenting I mean ,short term relationships 2-months,then sex, then monotony. I think two people should make love not sex. They should fall in love. It isnt supposed to function like that. It is supposed they fall in love and then on the way lots of obstacles may appear but none of them regrets because they were in love. i know guys are not like that,especially those pf my age. They want to have sex &experiment. And yeah lets be honest: it feels good havin someone cuddling you and so on and i like that,i truly do but with sb willing to love me and vice versa. having fun,enjoying the moment/night & partying &then drunk sex isnt good. Sex after 2-3 dates without knowing the person is not good as well. I mean how can you sleep with sb you just met. it just doesnt feel right. Its not love. And look im very sensitive and i get hurt easily. I just need sb with lots of patience who truly values me. I dont agree with my mom who says save your virginity till marriage because no one will take you as a wife then. Its not the old mentality now -.- . But i d like that person who ll be the first one to love me not to say: do not fall in love with me , its just passion nothing more. i cannot be in a relationship with someone who i know it ll last 2-3 months; a player, a man of whores and so on. Because there wont be anything serious,there will be only him taking advantage. I know i ll get hurt eventually in life but i have to chose the ones who are worth it. Im not someone obsessed with moral virginity and so on but if sth happens and we re not together i can proudly say: okay i loved that man,he loved me, sth happened,it didnt work but im proud of myself and i dont regret it. I also want a long term relationship not because i judge the time. No ! u can fall in love in 1 week , 1 month and so on but u have to be sure the feeling is the same for both sides and create trust. 1 month is not enough to gain trust. I just see it this way. Most guys laugh at this and so on and i see girls know enjoying the moment. As i said, i dont judge anyone. I d just feel broken if the relationship ended so fast or it was just physical or it wasnt serious. I mean u cant just tell sb everything,give them everything and then its over in a very short period. Maybe im wrong. I just see it this way. i just wanted an opinion: is this way the right one? i mean im i being to obsessed ? i just cant let myself do things so fast&maybe thats why guys have no patience for me because im too "slow". I want to make the right choice &want to prove that i can make that without proving /experimenting. I know my value & i wanna find happiness without having to get hurt. btw yes id date sb , meet him stay with him drink coffee for a long time. I think if sb truly wants you he ll wait for you and find his way back to you. I like when too people are too close or just are so used to each other there s no shyness or stress or anything else. thanks :)
Your story sounds just like the last girl I helped. Almost like you two are the same person. I do agree with your mom to wait to have sex until you are married. I believe in that. It's okay if you want to take things slow, but the key to finding the right person is to actually get out there and start dating. If you never have a boyfriend how do you expect to find the right one?
I understand that you want to find love and happiness but you also have to understand that with love and happiness comes heartache and pain. You're looking to find that first person who you can spend the rest of your life with and it's possible for you to find that. However, you won't be able to until you get out there and date.
It seems like you need to do less worrying and mapping out how things should be and actually get out there and make things happen. Nothing is going to happen while you're sitting around dreaming up how your life should be or online asking questions. You need to get out there and start dating. If love and happiness is what you want and what you're looking for, then take the first step and get out there and start dating.