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Teenage Problems/Feeling unloved

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Question
Hello sir..i am a 14 year old teen and I have come across many situations that made me feel unloved..actually I have a classmate who I help in every small matter from sharing glue to helping in exams but today what just happened nearly shook the foundations of my trust on that person..actually I asked for an extra pen as I forgot my kit at home and the person said..that it's not available..but at the end of the day I came to know that actually the person had an extra pen and give it to someone else even though I asked first..and ok..I know it's not that big a deal but seriously the person he shared his pen with hardly ever helps him and for that person he lied to me and denied to help me..and I swear to myself that I will never EVER!!talk to him..but I am really sad and I feel ashamed of myself for being so sad on such a little thing..but this is not the first time someone has taken me for granted and it has happened before...I behave perfectly well with others I make them laugh and make sure they do not get bored and help them with their studies but I wonder why people are so ungrateful to me...and I often ponder why no one loves me..sometimes it feels as though I don't have any friend or any one to count on except my family..could you please help me sir?

Answer
Hi Pritha

Thanks for this great and interesting question.  I am so sorry that you are going through this.  I believe that I have some Bible truths that can help... but they may not be easy to hear.

1.  I understand that you feel hurt because he did not give you a pen even though you gave him stuff... but you can only control what you do.  If you do stuff with strings attached, expecting to be paid back in kind from that person... you will always be disappointed.  It is his pen to what he will with... if you feel entitled to things that are not yours because you have done kind acts... you will run people off and people will not want to be around.  Jealousy or entitlement to certain things is a big turn off... even if you can see it is reasonable to expect such things.

2.  The Bible tells us that when dealing with others we are to be others focused... not focused on getting our own needs met.

Philippians 2:34 (AV)
3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. 4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.


If you are others focused... it will help you not be focused on how others have mistreated you... you will not be so upset about not getting the pen you imagine you deserve... things will come into a better perspective.  

I am sorry for this very slow response.

In Christ
Pastor Don

Teenage Problems

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Pastor Don Carpenter

Expertise

I am a father of four and a Baptist Pastor. Before becoming a senior pastor, I was a youth pastor and worker for over 10 years. If you ask this volunteer a question, you will get the benifit of 20 + years experience in the ministry and the counsel of the Bible, God`s perfect book. Feel free to ask any Biblical or moral questions.

Experience

I have been involved in pastoral type counseling for 20+ years. Most of my experience has been with chemical addiction, crisis intervention, and some types of severe mental illness. I have some secular training in those areas as well as a Bible College degree.

Organizations
Evangelical Baptist Church

Publications
Revival Baptist Chronicles
The Fundamental Baptist Voice

Education/Credentials
BS in Bible from Baptist Bible College in CLarks Summit PA
Various training seminars in, Co-occuring disorders, treatment of those who have been sexually abused, and Solution Focused Therapy.

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