Teenage Problems/Friend


Hi Jonathan!

I have a friend at work - she is 22, shy, low self-esteem.
She does not eat breakfast and refuses to eat anything unhealthy - cake, chocolate, biscuits.
At lunch she will eat maybe an orange or banana. Or she will have a tuna roll, break it into tiny pieces and barely eat any of it. All she drinks is water. She is uncomfortable talking about food with me - gets irritable, avoids eye contact, stutters and goes bright red. When in a group she will not get involved in conversations to do with meals, food in general, diets, favourite foods, or healthy eating (she looks in the opposite direction). She once told me that going out to restaurants does not interest her.
A few years ago she lost a lot of weight but not recently. I've never heard her say that she feels fat or wants to lose weight. She is thin but of a healthy weight. I don't know what her eating habits are like at home, do you think i should be concerned when she's not losing weight? What are your views, should I address the issue?

I know she has a difficult life at home with an alcoholic father and lives alone with him but don't know if that's relevant.

Thanks for your time.

You cannot be responsible for someone else's behavior. You can be a friend but unless she tells you of problems she is having at home there is little you can do. You can and should invite her to start going to a church or two and it should also be something you should do. The world as it is today is probably in the worst conditon it has been in since world war two. People need to believe in God and people find solace in knowing that God exists. If you are not sure which church to go to, then get a hold of the New american standard Version of the bible and start reading the New Testament. People should match what the bible says with a church. Belonging to just any church is not enough.  

Teenage Problems

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I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.


I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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