Teenage Problems/Clubbing

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Question
Dear mr Jonathan,
I'm a 16-year-old girl from Europe, and I hate clubbing. I've gone to a couple of local clubs with peers sometimes, but I'm always the only one that didn't enjoy the night at all. I don't like getting drunk, neither all the things my friends do.
And my friends are annoying at those times, 'cause they can't understand how I don't like bars, I think clubbing is their paradise, they go out every single weekend, and it sounds so exhausting to me!
I don't feel normal, I prefer sleeping instead of partying at nights.
I met some new girls from my school who didin't like clubbing too, and this is the second weekend in a row they tell me to come with them to the club, something that drives me crazy! I can't find anyone here to call a true friend! All my friends are temporary, we're having fun sometimes, but that's it, I don't feel like myself with them. P.s. I'm living in a small town.
I feel like a masochist, and I hate the fact I HAVE to pretend I'm having great time whem clubbing, when I don't. I always feel a stomach hurt when I discuss if I'm going to go out on Saturday or not. It's a pretty anxious and awful situation, I think I am a maniac. I hate all those tonnes of make up on my face and those completely inconvinient high-heels I'm supposed to wear. I don't behave normally, I know that, but what I'm supposed to do?
Thank you for the time you spent to read my pointless worries. Any anwser would be appreciated. Peace.
P.s. English isn't my first language, I apologise for any mistake.
-Mary

Answer
Hi Mary,
I will make some comments in CAPITAL LETTERS so you will easily see them. I'm not shouting.

I'm a 16-year-old girl from Europe, and I hate clubbing.ME TOO

I've gone to a couple of local clubs with peers sometimes, but I'm always the only one that didn't enjoy the night at all. I don't like getting drunk, GOOD NEITHER DO I

neither all the things my friends do. ALSO GOOD. NEVER DO ANYTHING THAT VIOLATES YOUR CONSCIENCE.


And my friends are annoying at those times, 'cause they can't understand how I don't like bars, I think clubbing is their paradise, they go out every single weekend, and it sounds so exhausting to me!
I don't feel normal, I prefer sleeping instead of partying at nights. THEN YOUUST BE DOING WELL IN YOUR SCHOOL WORK.


I met some new girls from my school who didin't like clubbing too, and this is the second weekend in a row they tell me to come with them to the club, something that drives me crazy! I can't find anyone here to call a true friend! All my friends are temporary, we're having fun sometimes, but that's it, I don't feel like myself with them. P.s. I'm living in a small town.
I feel like a masochist, and I hate the fact I HAVE to pretend I'm having great time whem clubbing, when I don't.THIS MAY BE THE ONLY WAY YOUR FRIENDS HAVE TO SOCIALIZE WITH EACH OTHER. I DO NOT ADVISE DRINKING ALCOHOL, BUT SOFT DRINKS ARE OKAY. THERE MAY BE OTHER OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOU TO SOCIALIZE WITH YOUR FRIENDS LIKE GETTING THEM TOGETHER TO SEE A MOVIE OR PLAY OR EVEN A SHOPPING TRIP OR GET THEM TOGETHER TO GO TO A SPORTING EVENT. NONE OF THESE INVOLVE ALCOHOL.

I always feel a stomach hurt when I discuss if I'm going to go out on Saturday or not.THATS A SIGN OF STRESS. IF YOUR STOMACH FEELS ALL TWISTED AND ACTUALLY PAINFUL IT IS USUALLY DUE TO STRESS.

It's a pretty anxious and awful situation, I think I am a maniac. I hate all those tonnes of make up on my face and those completely inconvinient high-heels I'm supposed to wear.IF YOU DO NOT NEED MAKE MAKE UP THEN STOP USING IT,OR USE A MINIMAL AMOUNT.  HIGH HEELS ARE TOTAALY UNNATURAL AND ARE A KNOWN CAUSE OF FOOT PROBLEMS THAT PEOPLE WHO WEAR THEM EXPERIENCE.  WEAR COMFORTABLE RUNNING SHOES OF A BRAND YOU LIKE AND FEEL COMFORTABLE WEARING (ASCICS, NIKE, NEW BALANCE, SAUCONY ETC).

I don't behave normally, I know that, but what I'm supposed to do? ITS PROBABLY OKAY TO GO TO SOME CLUBS WITH YOUR FRIENDS BUT ITS NOT OKAY TO DRINK ANYTHING THAT INTERFERES WITH JUDGEMENT AND DECISION MAKING, WHICH IS WHY GUYS ALWAYS TRY TO GET GIRLS TO DRINK ALCOHOL. SUGGEST DOING SOMETHING ALTERNATE LIKE DO SOME HOMEWORK AND BY HOMEWORK I MEAN FIND OUT WHAT NEW MOVIES ARE PLAYING IN YOUR COMMUNITU AND WHAT PLAYS OR CONCERTS OR SHOWS ARE ALSO PLAYING. FIND OUT WHAT SPORTING EVENTS OR GAMES ARE GOING TO BE ON FRIDAY NIGHT OR SATURDAY. SATURDAY COULD BE A SHOPPING DAY. ALWAYS REMEMBER TO NEVER VIOLATE YOUR CONSCIENCE. IF YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE NOT CHURCH GOERS THEN YOU NEED TO BECOME CHURCH ATTENDEES . REGULAR CHURCH ATTENDANCE IS GOOD FOR YOU. ALL OF US ARE ONLY PASSING THROUGH THIS LIFE AND WE NEVER KNOW HOW LONG A TIME WE WILL BE HERE SO IT IS ESSENTIAL TO ESTABLISH A RELATIONHIP WITH GOD.
Thank you for the time you spent to read my pointless worries. Any anwser would be appreciated. Peace.
P.s. English isn't my first language, I apologise for any mistake.
-Mary

Teenage Problems

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Jonathan

Expertise

I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.

Experience

I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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