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Teenage Problems/boyfriend problems


my boyfriend and i have been dating for 2 months not that long really but i really like him and he means so much to me to loose him. we had broken up for like 3 hours one day because this girl kept telling him to break up with me telling him i like other guys when i don't even talk to her. well we got back together once we talked things out. but now he hangs out with her all the time they text all the time and he is with her most of the day and not with me. i just feel like im loosing him again and i dont want to.he said he wants to be together for he longest time but he acts like he doesnt care or hes just scared to break up with me because he promised he wouldnt hurt me again. i already talk to him about it and he just said your not goin to loose me dont worry and that was it but i dont know what to do anymore im just scared to loose him

Hi Sara,

Its not easy to be sure of anything in the teen years. Never worry about whether you and he will stop seeing each other. High school and for that matter junior high school romances do not generally have a long track record. This other girl was obviously out to get this boy to break up with you. A word of caution to you now. You did not give your ages so its rather difficult to give the same advice I would give had I known your ages. But always remember this. Never do anything that violates your conscience or your moral compass. Never. It matters not that it seems like all of your friends are involved in something, just make sure you do not get involved in anything that causes an "alarm bell" to go off inside your head. At this point in your life you should be learning all you can about the opposite sex and about what it means to be faithful and loyal to someone and also how unfaithfulness and disloyalty hurts every relationship. The feelings you have for this guy are completely normal. When you were younger and he was younger both of you usually wanted to have friends who were just girls and for him just boys. Your parents are the most important people in your lives when you are little. But now you turn to people outside your immediate family. Never feel any fear about losing someone. There are about 3.5 billion males in the world that you have not met. There are plenty of other boys in your school and there are probably a number of high schools in the area you live. There is never just one single person for anyone. To believe that is like believing that the one car you want is the only car for you. Car salespeople try to get a person to have an emotional attachment to a car they are looking at. If they succeed they know they have got that car sold. But that's why you have to be ready to "walk" anytime you feel you are getting the pressure. Its the same with relationships. If someone does not treat you right then you need to get away from them. Sometimes people marry someone they went to high school with but its not the norm. If you go to college or take up a medical career you will likely meet people there and you will date people you meet there. I did not see where you mention the word love anywhere. If you want to know what love really is, then there is a place where you can learn what love really is. Look up online in the New Testament , the First Book of Corinthians, Chapter 13. The version of the bible that says it best is the "New American Standard" version. It is unlike anything I have ever read about what love is.
   I hope this gives you some food for thought. If you are not now a church goer then you need to become one. That's another thing you can invite this boy to. If you need to think of things to do together, then do a little homework and by homework I mean look up in the paper or online about what movies are playing in your community , what plays at your school or what sports events at your school and suggest to him that you attend together. If he asks you to go out to eat, make sure you do not order something expensive. Why? The guy may not have a lot of money.  Its always best to say to him when he asks what would you like, to just say "I'll have what your having or ask for two plates and split a dinner. You can invite him to to a shopping mall or to play the game of tennis. Get a book and read the rules and practice. If possible try to take a few lessons from a tennis pro. You may be able to find one by calling around to a local golf country club or ask a tennis coach at your school.  If you need any other advice or have anymore questions feel free to ask a followup question.

Thank you for your question.

Teenage Problems

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I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.


I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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