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Teenage Problems/need help again :/


Im back lol. In case you dont remember, in the one that just recently asked a question about what to do with my relationship with a girl named Lily. Hopefully you'll remember so I don't have to retell the whole story.

Anyways, Well, the last advice you gave me was to text her one last time while shes in the Bahamas just asking how she is and eventually in that conversation to end it with making plans to go out to eat soon so that I can have my "talk" with her. Well, I did that, but she didnt respond. At all. Very unlikely of her. I know that she has her phone because shes posting things on social media and stuff.

So the next day, I was feeling really down because of this and I texted her saying simply "are you mad at me?" Hoping to go on from there. I realize that it was a bad idea but it kinda just happened in the moment. She didnt respond to that either. Now im almost positive shes ignoring me for some reason.

Today I see on twitter that she messaged her ex named rj (hes going to come up a lot so I had to name him) saying "I miss my boo thang @(hisaccountname)" so shes definitely flirting with him. Rj is the one that she wore his sweatshirt a few weeks ago that I told you about. Rj is also the one that is her "best friend" on snapchat meaning that they message each other the most.

Im pretty torn at this point. I really like this girl but all signs are pointing for me to leave her before she hurts me. Then I remembered something.

Way back when she and I were first flirting with each other, my friend told me that she told him that she really is falling for me but doesnt want to be in a relationship with me because she knows that shell hurt me in the end because of the kind of girl she is and she doesnt want that to happen. He told her that maybe she should just stick with one boy for once and for it to be me. I think she grew onto that idea and thats why she liked me a lot, but I think things turned sour because I nustve scared her away when I asked her that one night if she would be my girlfriend.

Im starting to think all of this ignoring me and being distant and everything is just her way of telling me to back off so I dont get hurt. I want to tell her that im okay with taking the leap of faith to jump into a relationship with her if shes ready to, and that she can be with just me and ill be with just her, but I can tell her that because what if my thinking is all wrong from the start and I call her out on this and its not true at all and I look stupid.

Btw, I realize that grammatically, none of this makes much sense and im sorry if im losing your train of thought but im just typing as I go.

I just want to know if theres a chance. Even a small one. A chance at all that some day shell like me enough to be my girlfriend. If so, then ill be patient and fight for her and do whatever I have to do to make that happen. But, if im just being played right now by a girl who is heartless and is stringing me along to hurt me, than I cant take it. I want out.

Its sad enough that something this small can affect me so much that I feel the need to go ask for professional help online (no offense at all). Its just that she is really the first girl that I ever liked for her personality, smile, body, presence, everything, and that she likes or atleast liked me back. And if this is what love is like then this sucks because its torturing me.

At this point im just complaining and ranting and im sure you dont want to read anymore of this so please put an end to my misery and tell me the brutal truth of what I need to do.

I was in love one minute, all giddy and happy every second of the day when id hear or even think about her, and now the next im stuck being ignored for God knows why and contemplating just giving up on her.

I just want to know what happened in between and how to fix it.

Sorry that I keep bothering you by the way, I just need some help thats all. Thanks a ton for all of the previous responses also.

Hi Alex,

Of course I remember you, lol. So here's the brutal truth. I don't think Lily is into you like you're into her. I'm not sure if she's stringing you along, only you can answer that for yourself. However, it does seem like there's something wrong as to why she's distancing herself from you.

She didn't respond to your texts which tells me that she's ignoring you and for what reason I'm not sure. But here's the thing; you can't keep chasing behind her. What I'm about to tell you is probably going to hurt and not necessarily what you want to hear, but you need to hear it. If she doesn't respond to you, then don't press it.

You need to continue living on as normal. I know you like this girl, but I don't think she's worth the fuss; especially when she's acting like this. Stop texting her because if you don't, you'll look desperate and clingy. Let her finish up her vacation and see if she contacts you when she gets home.

If she doesn't then text her one last time and ask her if she's still going to the prom with you. You can also ask her one last time if you can take her out on that date so that you can talk to her. Don't let her know that you want to talk to her, just tell her you'd like to take her out.

If you end up taking her out then ask her where you two stand. Don't sound desperate and don't confess your love for her because she doesn't love you. You can let her know that you care about her and you'd just like to know where you two stand.  If you end up not taking her out because she has continued to ignore you, then forget about her.

You don't deserve to be ignored, even if it's by someone you really like. TRUST me when I say this Alex, she won't be the last girl you love. There will be others. You may not see that right now because you're all caught up in this girl, but I promise that you will get over her and you'll eventually like another girl.

Don't let Lily control you. You seem like a great guy and I'd hate for this girl to break your heart because she's not being truthful with you. Find out what you need to know from the date and then move on from there. Be a big enough person to let her go because you're not in the business of keeping someone who doesn't want to be kept.

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Scarlet Murdock


Even though I have no teenagers of my own, I've seen, heard and have experienced a lot of things dealing with teenagers. I take the experience of me being a teen along with the problems and issues teens have today and I offer my opinions and advice. Since I'm no longer in my teens, I'm wiser, which means that I can definitely guide you in the right direction when it comes to solving your problems.

Experience is a website that I am very proud to say that I am a part of. I created this site for teenagers all over. I wanted to give you a place where you could gain some knowledge, ask questions and see what your fellow teenagers can offer you. Teen-Babble is about sharing experiences, growing and becoming a better person. I am also part of my local Boys and Girls club where I hang out with teens about 3 times a day and help them with anything I can.

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