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Teenage Problems/Losing My (Best) Friend


Hi Scarlet,

I've gone through many, many best friends throughout my school life. My most recent best friend, I'll call her Karen, has been an on-off best friend with me for the past 2 years. Generally we would be super close for a few months (like always hang out with each other, share secrets, hug each other, share food, etc...) and then she would abruptly ignore me on a random (?) day. Karen isn't the type of person who freely communicates her feelings, so I have not really been able to ask her why. Sometimes I assume that she ignores me because of something I have done, but sometimes I assume that she is having other problems and pushed me away as a result of that.

During these times of silence she would either hang out with other friends or spend lunchtimes by herself. I would be left to find other friends. I suppose she takes the role of the "leader" in our friendship, in that she dictates what and when things will happen. We are both however quite headstrong people, so when she decides to push me away, I always have mixed feelings of anger, sadness, jealousy and revenge.

She would usually come back to me after a few weeks. But this time it has been going on for 3 months. That's a really long time, and I am beginning to accept that our friendship has ended. This really upsets me as it appears that she has moved on, and I am pretending that I have moved on. But now, because of this, I don't even know what friendship group I belong in, who are my true friends, etc... Now when I sit next to her in a class (due to a seating plan) we don't even say a word to each other.

I don't have a specific question, but I would just like to get some advice on what I should do. I would prefer to avoid confronting her as she is seriously the most difficult person to talk to sometimes- although that's just in her character. Also, would you consider her a true friend to me? Or is she just toxic?

Thank you for your time.

Hi Annie,

Since you don't want to confront her about the situation, then there's not much that you can do, other than move on. She doesn't sound like a true friend to me. A true friend doesn't leave you hanging like that. If they have an issue with you, then they address it with you. If they have a personal issue going on that they don't want to discuss, they at least let you know that. They don't ignore you. I would move on and try not to think about it so much. You just know now that she wasn't a true friend. You can always make new friends.

Teenage Problems

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Scarlet Murdock


Even though I have no teenagers of my own, I've seen, heard and have experienced a lot of things dealing with teenagers. I take the experience of me being a teen along with the problems and issues teens have today and I offer my opinions and advice. Since I'm no longer in my teens, I'm wiser, which means that I can definitely guide you in the right direction when it comes to solving your problems.

Experience is a website that I am very proud to say that I am a part of. I created this site for teenagers all over. I wanted to give you a place where you could gain some knowledge, ask questions and see what your fellow teenagers can offer you. Teen-Babble is about sharing experiences, growing and becoming a better person. I am also part of my local Boys and Girls club where I hang out with teens about 3 times a day and help them with anything I can.

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