Teenage Problems/i am scared becoming a lesbian/bi
QUESTION: hi,i am just 13 (who will be 14 in aughust) years old girl, who is a muslim(lives in turkey). i have been straight homophobic my WHOLE LIFE! but 4 weeks ago i found out about same gender love, and ever since i have asked my self if i am a lesbian/bi. i donr know what is wrong with me, being a lesbian is SO gross, So unnutural, and a BIG sin, and i always knew like that, i love my Allah, but gays/lesbians totally insults Allah/God saying he doesnt exist!AGH! anyways, my girl classmates at school are really awesome people to talk with, but lately i have been taalking to one of them all the time, and since i have found out about same gender love, i get scared, and dont talk to her anymore, cuz i am scared to have feeling to here even though i have no feelings to here, but i keep having gut feeling, i sometimes talk to her, and i forget about the "if i am a lesbian" thought, but after i finish talking talking the question comes back to my hEAD! ITS SOO HARD FOR ME!!! I MEAN i am not even attracted to girl, it think boobs are just fat tissue which for some reason guys are attracted for...i also like the female body, i think its's really beautiful, i also like to draw it( i am an artist btw), i like the feminine body,i think it hot/gorgeous and i really admire it BUT I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX, OR CREATE A FAMILY WITH THE SAME GENDER AS ME!also i forced my self to watch a 4minutes of lesbian porn to see what would be my reaction, and it was digusting!!!!for 2 days i didnt think about the "am i a lesbian/bi" issue,but after few days i again remembered that annoying question(EPIC FAIL). i have always wanted to have a feauture with a guy and have children IN A NATURAL WAY, i know i am straight but i keep asking myslef this question i have been boy crazy since birth( that what my mom told me)
Anyways, sorry for the long description, and the grammatical mistakes(not a native speaker),also i would like to talk in private please)
hope you'll answer it CUZ I AM GOING CRAZY!
P.S: please dont say that its okay for you to be a bi/lesbian, cuz its not ok? my parents would totally reject me for this...
ANSWER: Hi Nika,
Before I help you I'd just like to know what you mean by talking in private? You're able to set the message as private before you submit it, but you didn't do that, so right now your question is public. Or do you mean you'd like to talk to me privately, outside of this website? I'd just like to be clear before I answer your question.
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QUESTION: i meant private by emailing, but meh, i need a help though
It doesn't sound like you're a lesbian. It's hard to escape being around lesbian/gay people, but you shouldn't question yourself. You've liked boys ever since you can remember, so just because you've now been introduced to the lesbian/gay thing, that shouldn't make you question your sexuality.
It's okay to socialize with lesbians/gays. I have a friend who is gay, although he's a boy. I've been around lesbians but not once did I question whether or not I was a lesbian. I know my sexuality. I believe that women are beautiful creatures as well. We have beautiful bodies. But i know I'm not a lesbian.
Even though I don't agree with the entire lesbian/gay thing, I don't judge it because it's not my place to. I don't have an issue being around them though. It's their choice. I think it's safe to say that you're straight and I'm not sure why these questions creep into your mind, but try not to think about it.
There's nothing around with socializing with lesbians/gays and as long as you know your sexuality, then there's nothing to worry about. You don't have any feelings for girls as far as wanting to be with them, so remember that and will be fine.