You are here:

Teenage Problems/Why does this guy keep making fun of me?!

Advertisement


Question
QUESTION: I'll start off by saying that I am a 14 year old girl. And there is this guy in my class (call him A), who just joined our school this year and has some problem with me that I can not understand. Now I am really shy and do not talk much to students I don't know. So I've not talked to A at all. He joined about a month ago and within a week, he just got so many friends and became so popular and stuff that he is NEVER alone, me and my friends do not know why. Anyway, since last week, he has been making fun of me and teasing me, again, I do not know why. I USED TO have nothing against him and thought that he might be nice and friendly but boy was I wrong! But since last week, he'll just make fun of everything I do. I am a little chubby so he keeps on making fun of my weight. He makes fun of me at least twice a day. Also, he stares at me too. And that is just creepy. And when I look at him, he gives me an evil smile or smirk and turns away. What. the. hell. I just HATE him! Normally, I don't pay attention to such jerks but this guy is taking it too far. He makes fun of me in front of my crush (this is what bothers me the most), my friends, everybody. It is just so irritating. I don't know what wrong have I done to him! What the hell is his problem? I didn't even know his name till last week! What might be the problem with this guy? Please help! Thanks a lot in advance! <3

ANSWER: Hi Liana,

I think it is time you go up to this guy and say something like "I don't know how I have insulted you, or which of your family members I have insulted, or how I have hurt you, but your making sport of me is going to stop NOW or I am going to stop you."  If he persists then go speak to the head person is your school and tell them about how this boy is "bullying you" and what he is saying to you and about you.   If he continues to harass you then you may want to call or visit his parents and let them know how he is acting toward you at school. Make it clear to them or him that " I am not interested in knowing you or I am not interested in knowing your son". I would like you speak to him about stopping his harassment of me. If your school administrators do not offer to help you then go over their heads to whoever is in charge of all the schools in your area and this might be a "superintendent" of schools. Ask his or her secretary to make an appointment for you to speak to him or her and then tell the person, "I am disappointed that I had to ask to bring this issue to your level but I brought this up to the principal of my school (or headmaster) and they did not act. "This is affecting my schoolwork and I do not feel I need to put up with this boy's "snide" remarks about me. If you need morr suggestions feel free to ask a follow up question.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello! I haven't talked to any adult about this till now but I asked him what his problem was just a few days ago and he said, 'I like to tease you. I like the way you get angry. And I can't stop something I like to do.' And also, he said this real loud and all the guys in the class started laughing. I don't even know what was funny in that. What do I do now? I don't wanna involve any elder in this to tell you the truth. Or everyone will think I snitch and stuff. I have told about this to my elder sis and she just tells me to ignore the jerk. The worst thing is that he keeps staring at me creepily. And he smirks evilly when I catch him. I said 'stalk much?' yesterday while he was staring and he has been repeating those words in chipmunk voice in front of me again and again! :(

Answer
This is really a case of "bullying". That he likes to tease you and by his own admission he likes to see you angry indicates he is a "sadist". He, like a number of other people seek to make themselves secure when he is really covering up how insecure he really is. I think since you do not want to involve any of your teachers that your sis is right by suggesting you ignore him. If he does not receive an "audience" (you occasionally looking at him or responding to his aunts) then he will eventually stop this behavior. He is also very immature. I think your best course would be to "silence him". Do not speak to him or respond to him in any way. Do not answer any of his questions. Just consider him a non-person. And do not even mention his name to any of your friends.  When you have any person around you who annoys you then the best course of action is to ignore them or move to another location. If you are in a library or elsewhere and he comes near you then feel free to bring it up to an adult that this person is bothering me. The ball is then in their court and they should speak to the guy. Do not accept and written communication from him , do not answer him back either.  

Teenage Problems

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Jonathan

Expertise

I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.

Experience

I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.