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Teenage Problems/Sexuall harrasment was my fault

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Question
I've only told my best friend about this and I feel like I need some advice because its killing me, I'm 14 and was at a house party and it was around 3 in the morning and I went to bed on the sofa and everyone was upstairs, this guy that I know who is lovely came with me and we were kissing and stuff until it esculated, I kinda just lay there frozen and he had sex with me, everyone kept coming in and taking picture and still I was just laying there, then he got really angry with everyone and when they left he (sorry to be graphic) fingered me really agressivly and I was crying but he could see because it was dark, then he left. I never said no, but I never said yes, I think this was all my fault, I don't want to accuse him of anything but I feel so violated and I don't want to leave my bed, everyone at school has been calling me a slut and slag and I've even contemplated suicide because I feel worthless and disgusting and it just makes it so much worse that the only person I could blame is myself, I threw up because I thought about when I was laying there thing omg what do I do I don't want to do this at all, but I never said anything to him and I feel like an idiot! Was this sexual assault?

Answer
Hi Gabbie,

Thank you for writing to me.

I really feel bad that you are going through this. I would not be too hard on myself.   There are a few questions that I would like to get answered.  Were you involved in any drinking or alcohol at this party?  How old was the person in which you had sex? Who was taking the pictures and why?  How did the people at school find out what happened? Were you afraid to say or no? Did the young man use protection?Have you had sex before? I need these answers in order to advise you wisely. I will be awaiting your answers.

Respectfully,
Dr. Lee

Teenage Problems

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Dr. Shirley M Lee

Expertise

I can answer questions relating to youth that are on probation, arrested, has anger management issues, lack of impulse control, problems in school and substance abuse issues. Additionally, I can answer questions about youth with sex issues, domestic violence, child abuse, child sex abuse, as the abuser and the one that has been abused, parent abuse, physical, mental and psychological abuse. I answer questions about marriage and divorce. I can't answer questions about medication that has been ordered by a psychiatrist and it's side affects or should you stop taking it. I can answer the question as to what reason the medication was ordered.

Experience

I have been providing care, guidance, and social services for children, adolescents, and their families for 32plus years. I work with young people who struggle with behavioral problems and issues at home and school. I assist our youth in developing healthy living habits and motivate them to become productive citizens. In addition, I work with the parents and families to motivate and encourage strengthening the family. I have worked with families that have been homeless, in poverty, peer pressure, and bullying. I currently counsel with youth that are on probation for battery, domestic violence, petit and petite theft, substance substance abuse and sex offenders. I also speak with their teachers and go into the homes and schools. I am a mentor to all these children and their parents. When help is needed beyond my expertise I will suggest where to take the child to receive the proper services.

Organizations
AACC (AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS) AND THE BAACC (BLACK AFRICAN-AMERICAN CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS).

Publications
Published 6 books and were sold at the Christian Book Store for one year.

Education/Credentials
Ph.d in Sacred Religious Counseling; Ph.d in Counseling Psychology; MA in Public Administration; BA in Paralegal; Clinically Certified Domestic Violence Counselor; CFARS (CHILDREN'S FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE); and for adults the FARS (FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE. I am also a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor.

Awards and Honors
Biblical Studies with highest Honors. Magna Cum laude.

Past/Present Clients
In the past I worked for two different agencies as a Case Manager, a Therapist and a Counselor for the youth. I worked under the leadership of the two agencies as an independent contractor. 3 years ago I began working my own business, which has been in existence since 2002 in counseling. Presently I am working with youth that are on probation and is court ordered to take an anger management and/or impulse control class with me. I am also registered with the county to perform marriage counseling and weddings.

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