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Teenage Problems/Trouble with Serious Matters. No Clue How to Express to Parents!

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Ashley- For quite some time now, it's been extremely difficult and almost unbearable to live in my house. Although I love my parents, and my only brother, I cannot help but feel that there is no self expression allowed unless pre-approved and there is no emotional expression, unless we are spouting off to one another. I am only 15. For quite some time now I have considered telling my parents that I would like to try living elsewhere- with a family member or close friend. I also would like to look for some alternatives to public high school, as it is hard for me to focus in school. I wish I could tell them how I feel about all this, but whenever I ask for something, or want to discuss something, I feel like they want no part in even taking consideration in the matter. I have not attempted to tell them about wanting to move out, or looking into school alternatives. I write, and I can't go through with delivering it. I try to talk about it, I choke just thinking about their response. PLEASE HELP ME.

Answer
Hi Erin, It sounds like you live in a loveless house or one where you are not free to express your emotions. This may have come from what kind of home your parents lived in when they were young. I suggest you look for a few youth church groups to join and if you are not now a church goer then you need to become one. You never need to go to church with someone. Its one of the few places where you are always welcome. You will find many committed Christians you can talk to and let them know how you are feeling and what your home life is like. You need to start reading the bible and I suggest getting a copy of The New American Standard version. it is the most literal translation of all of the bible versions. Start with reading the Gospel of John. Then look in the book of First Corinthians, Chapter 13. Chapter 13 is the greatest words ever written about "Love" that you will ever read.  As far as church denominations goes, there are far too many. The Roman Catholic has been around since the beginning and has probably got most of it right. Many protestant denominations do not give reverence to Mary as the Blessed Mother but if you do some studying you will learn of what happened at Fatima, Portugal in the two years of 1916 and 1917. Three illiterate shepherd children were visited by an angel and the following year by the Blessed Mother. The complete story is available in a free paper booklet from The Fatima Center, at www.fatima.org. If you email them they will send you a copy free at info@fatima.org.  The title is "The True Story of Fatima".  Its difficult to not believe what happened there in 1917. You sound like you are looking for a family that is loving and supportive and where you feel cared about and loved. You may have to find it in some youth church groups and youth prayer groups.  You could try to tell your parents and your brother that you love them and that you want them to love you and see what result you get. You can also ask them if they would like you to do something around the home with them. I hope this gives you a few ideas. If not then feel free to ask a follow up question,  

Teenage Problems

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Jonathan

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I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.

Experience

I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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