Teenage Problems/I want to go to college
I don't hate my household, I just can't stand living here. I want to ask my parents about graduating early so that I will not have to deal with the rich and self entitled ignoramuses that roam the halls of my high school. At the same time, I have an obligation of sorts. My mom is married but lives the life of a single mom. That is to say that my dad lives at our house, but while he has a job, he pays no attention to his kids whatsoever and has become a fifth child of the home. I will do my best to clearly and without exaggeration list the thoughts I have on this. I ask for feedback on how to approach talking to my parents and on whether or not it would be wise for me to go through with this.
My parents went through my through my trash ( which seems excessive and invasive to me) and found the wrapper to a condom. I had a few weeks prior been physical with my boyfriend. I admitted completely to it. My dad overreacted in the sense that he told me he had no trust or respect for me ( even though I am the most level headed in the house) and that I should of thought about how much money a child would cost him, then told me that if I want to continue this kind of behavior, he would find a place for me to live like that. He would kick me out. Afterwards my mom did little more than watch me heave bile from my stomach on our drive to go get food after my dad had stormed out. He ignored me for a month. He would not talk to me or look at me. He's not religious, but he saw my one slip up as me defying him. I'm intelligent, so he thinks that my brains will out weigh emotions. And he did not talk to me until I had informed them on my brother sneaking people into the house. Following that, he told my mom to deal with me, sweeping it under the rug on his end. And this is just on of several inanities from his end.
As I have expressed, high school is not my thing. I;m not anti-social, but the overall populace of the student body is made of...teens. They aren't bad people, I just can't stand how mouthy and snippy and inappropriate and entitled many of them are. I can't quite drive yet, but I have a job, and I self teach a lot of things to myself in class using the internet or textbooks. If I put real effort into my daily work, I'd have strait A's. With only a couple of credits yet to fill, I mine as well get out early.
As far as the situation with family goes, we've done counseling and talking and game nights. My dad seems to be holding the house back. He thinks it;s all quackery. And sometimes I wonder why my mom stays with him. He still hardly speaks to me. He yells all the time, he kicks the dogs in the ribs and it makes me angry because he is potentially damaging their vital organs if not giving them a fear of movements towards them. They flinch. No creature should be so used to beating that they do that. I need out before I do something stupid. I can hardly leave the house to do things with friends. And I've gone much farther out of my way than he would have ever to prove i'm worthy of his attention, of his trust, of his understanding or attempt to get better for the sake of the house as a whole.
Escape should not be the answer to everything. I take things head on. But this...I'm at a loss. And I feel calmer saying that than I am with saying I will wait out the rest of my "sentence" to "repay" my dad for "betraying" him. I'm done with the pleasing someone who will never be happy with me because I can always do better. And I'm not fond of feeling guilty for hoping he'll actually follow through with therapy.
That's a really pretty name by the way. I completely empathize with you. I know how hard it can be to live at home, especially with a dad who can not be so understanding at times. However, you can't blame him for being upset about the condom wrapper. I admit he might have overreacted a bit, but he's upset at the fact that his daughter, his little princess, is having sex. You may not understand that because you're on the opposite side of the fence. But one day when you get married and have children of your own, then you'll understand.
I don't agree with him threatening to kick you out of the house. That's just absurd. But I understand why he's upset. I'm not sure why your dad acts the way he does but if it were me, I'd take my dad somewhere, just him and me. I'd go and do something with him, like going out to eat or something. I'd just get us by ourselves. I'd then start talking to him about our relationship. It sounds like you and your father don't have a good one and that seems to be the problem.
But I would have a heart felt daughter to father talk with my dad. I'd tell him what's bothering me as well as the things that he does to make me sad, feel bad or frustrated. I'd apologize for the condom wrapper because let's be honest, that wasn't right for you to do. You have to be adult enough to admit when you are wrong. But that should get the ball rolling.
You mentioned that you have been through counseling and I'm surprised that it didn't work. Often counseling is the key to helping a family mend. I was actually going to suggest that. But since it didn't work, I would try talking to your dad, one on one. I would also talk to your mom more. Tell her how you are feeling and what it's doing to you. Then perhaps she could talk to your dad and you guys can work something out.
It seems like you're in a tough spot, but nothing that can't be fixed. Talk to your parents about graduating early and if you think moving out is your best bet, then do all you can to save up money so that you can do that. However, I do want you to know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. There are consequences to all decisions and you have to be prepared to face them if need be. I know you can get through this Juniper. Just take it one day at a time. Good luck and let me know if I can be of any more help (if this was at all helpful to you).