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Teenage Problems/asking a girl out


Hi Ms.Murdock, my name is Danny, I'm 16 and I really like this girl in my class. I've known her for 3 years but our relationship has always been highly small talk based. She broke up with her long distance boyfriend about a month ago and I'm really happy now that i get a shot at asking her out. But, I'm afraid because I'm not very good looking and I she's  the first girl I ever truly like. How should I ask her out?
P.s.: It's not so much as asking her out because she lives in the hostel in our school but more of a straight to dating kind of relationship like everyone does in our school.
P.P.S: I've never had a girlfriend before.

Hi Danny,

You're already going into this with a negative attitude and you can't do that, otherwise you'll think of other reasons why you shouldn't ask her out. Just because you think you may not be good looking doesn't mean that she sees you that way. There are so many people out in the world who think they are unattractive or may be unattractive who actually have partners. So looks aren't everything. It's who you are inside that's most important.

So once you put on your positive hat, you need to gain some confidence. You'll be nervous which is okay, but you have to be confident. Girls like guys who are confident. Before jumping right in there, I would try being her friend first - getting a little closer to her. You want to try to establish a relationship with her. Right now you have no relationship. You two only talk a little bit. But you need to get to know her more. You should get to her know and this gives her time to get to know you.

Then once you two have gotten to know one another, then you can ask her out. i think you'll have a better shot if she knew more about you.Right now she doesn't know a whole lot and you guys don't talk a lot. A month really isn't a long time to be broken up with someone and it's possible that she's still getting over that. She just got out of a relationship and it may be too soon for her to jump right back into another one.

To give yourself the best chance at being with her, I would suggest becoming her friend and getting to know her a little bit more. This way it won't be so nerve wrecking when you finally do ask her out. So give it some time to get to know her more and then make your move. Now, when you're ready to do that, I would suggest pulling her to the side to ask her. You could go one step further and ask her out to lunch or something.

But get her by herself and if I were you I'd say something like this, "(Girl's Name), we've been friends now for a little while and I just want you to know how awesome you are. I think you're smart, beautiful,   (other things to describe her) and any guy would be lucky to have you. I know you could have any guy that you want, but I'd like to be that guy. I think you're special and I would always respect you and treat you like you deserve to be treated. I guess what I'm trying to say is (Girl's Name), will you go out with me?

So I mean it's not perfect, but I'm sure you could do some ad-lib somewhere in there. But that's just something to get you started. So I hope everything works out for you and you get this girl Danny. I'm rooting for ya! Good luck!  

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Scarlet Murdock


Even though I have no teenagers of my own, I've seen, heard and have experienced a lot of things dealing with teenagers. I take the experience of me being a teen along with the problems and issues teens have today and I offer my opinions and advice. Since I'm no longer in my teens, I'm wiser, which means that I can definitely guide you in the right direction when it comes to solving your problems.

Experience is a website that I am very proud to say that I am a part of. I created this site for teenagers all over. I wanted to give you a place where you could gain some knowledge, ask questions and see what your fellow teenagers can offer you. Teen-Babble is about sharing experiences, growing and becoming a better person. I am also part of my local Boys and Girls club where I hang out with teens about 3 times a day and help them with anything I can.

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