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Teenage Problems/An embarrassing problem

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Question
Hello, this sounds like a really stupid problem but it is making me feel ill.  I am 14 and a boy, and I have a problem with feet.  My problem is, I really like other boys feet, but I can't even begin to deal with being barefoot around people, but next week in my drama class at school, we have a theatre company in, and they have said we have to be barefoot.  I love drama, but the idea of taking my socks of in front of everyone I see all the time is terrible.  I can't do it.  I will get turned on by seeing some of the other boys bare feet, so I should be looking forward to it, but I am so paranoid about my feet being out I want to cry.  What can I do without looking like the freak that I obviously am

Answer
Hi Zach,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me and I hope that I can help.

Firstly, let me apologise for not replying sooner than I would have liked to; I appreciate that you needed quite a quick answer to your problem and due to work commitments, I was unable to provide this as soon as I would have liked. I apologise.

By now you will have had your drama class where you will have had to have gone bare foot. I hope that it was not too traumatic and that you were able to complete the activities with little anxiety or stress. Let me point out at this point that in your email, you call yourself a 'freak'. You are not a freak at all and should not think like this about yourself. Everyone has their fetishes and the things that turn them on, as well as each of us having our own insecurities about ourselves and what we wish we could improve.

In your case, you like other people's feet but hate your own. Does it not make sense that the reason you like other people's feet is because you are repulsed by your own (when you shouldn't be)? Therefore, you see perfection in others but flaws in your self. You do not detail what issue you think is wrong with your feet but let me assure you that everyone has similar feet but not everyone is as concerned as you are about them. They are feet and they are there for balance and support, not to look pretty. It would probably surprise you if you knew how little people actually pay attention to other people's bodies (it is not that much) as people are generally more concerned about how they are being seen by others opposed to looking out for faults in other people. Therefore, if you do have a problem with your feet, it is highly unlikely someone would actually notice unless it was blatantly obvious; at which point, I would advise you to see a doctor.

If you are genuinely unable to overcome the issue with your feet then it might be a suggestion that you speak to your drama teacher in private and explain that you would prefer to perform in socks and see what they say. That said, wearing socks in a room of bare footed people is more likely to draw attention to your feet than not so, so it is a catch 22 (where there is a no win situation either way).

I hope this information helps and finds you well.

Regards,

Daryl

Teenage Problems

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Daryl Taylor, BSc (Hons) Psychology, PGDip (pending certification)

Expertise

My expertise covers everything and anything to do with growing up, being a teenager or a young adult or being the parent of one of the pre-described. I can cover issues on identity, sexuality, love, relationships, families, drug/alcohol abuse and anything and everything in between.

Experience

I have volunteered for AllExperts.com for over ten years now, but even before that I was trying to use my experience to help others by working with Advice4teens.co.uk, Teenadviceonline.org and even Lycos and Ask Jeeves. My experience comes from being a teenager primarily but this lead me to work with young people from the age of 13. I have worked front line, face to face and over the telephone, e-mail and webchat for a government department called Connexions UK (aimed at young people aged 13-19); as well as being student counselor in New York, a Peer Mentor, a student teacher and working for my school, college and University to help raise the aspirations of young people. My life has not been easy and I have been through my fair share of issues; so there is little that I haven't been through in reality opposed to just reading it from a book or from my academic studies. I have been featured as a case study as achieving through adversity for a number of magazines and I have featured in a couple of books on both sides of the Atlantic; even though I am UK based.

Organizations
The Albert Kennedy Trust

Publications
Relationships: Cathy Senker, 2012, Raintree The Dean and Chapter Positive Nation GTEN Television Aim Higher

Education/Credentials
BSc(Hons) Psychology Post Graduate Diploma in Multidisciplinary Design Innovation Basic Counselling Skills Effective Listening Skills Mental Health First Aid

Awards and Honors
Outstanding Student achievement Adult learner's Award

Past/Present Clients
Allexperts.com Advice4teensuk.org Teenadviceonline.org lycos.co.uk askjeeves.com Connexions Direct

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