Teenage Problems/stress


i am 16 and female . my problem is that i get stressed and tensed very fast and my heart starts beating very fast and i cry  for no reason if someone shouts on me i start crying .i feel lonely even if i am surrounded by known people and i cant approach people i get very anxious and i have many insecurities regarding myself whatever i do i think whether people will laugh at me am i doing right etc i have low confidence and cant communicate my feelings to people and i don't entertain fake people in fact when fake people get so much attention and they having so many friends i wonder if something is wrong with me or not .I feel low/down in front my classmates i feel i don't belong to this place i feel intimidated by them in their presence i feel low,my behavior changes and i act strange for myself i feel i am not worthy to have a boyfriend and i feel for many guys at the same time is this normal i mean i feel so dejected and low and my self esteem is going down day by day

Hi Pia,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me and I hope that I can help.

Firstly, it sounds like you are having a difficult time at the moment and you are putting yourself under a lot of pressure because it sounds like you are worried that you do not fit in. You are beating yourself up because you do not feel like you are worthy of a boyfriend and that people are better than you. Putting all of this pressure on yourself is not healthy and nor is it helpful to yourself.

You are sixteen years old with your whole life ahead of you; with many chances to meet people, make friends and find yourself a boyfriend, but at the moment, you cannot see that because you are blinded by the person that you think you should be rather than the person that you actually are. This will be made worse by your hormones which will be fluctuating as you near the end of puberty but which cause mood swings and sometimes, can make us feel low as they dip. You need to understand that the way you are feeling at the moment is not the way you will feel forever and it is only a phase. You also need to understand that happiness has to start from within as well as beauty and if you cannot learn to love yourself, how can you allow other people to love you?

You are a fantastically unique and wonderfully brilliant person and you just need to see this. The anxiety that you feel is because you do not recognise that you have just as much to contribute to society as anyone else and your opinions are just as valid. If people do not like you for being yourself and not being fake, then the problem is with them, not with you.

In terms of changining your behaviour, this is human nature and something that everyone does in order to try and fit in, it is not just you. We all change who we are around different groups of people, for example, we are all different around our friends and around our family.

My advice to you is to look at yourself more positively and begin to ignore the doubts in your mind that you have about yourself and what you think other people have about you. Recognise that you are beating yourself for no reason and this is not making you happy and unless you decide the way you think, you may never be happy with who you are. Why should anyone have the power to make you feel worthless? They will not if you do not give them the power to do this.

Make a list of your strengths and look at these everyday and look to join a group or club with people who share your interests. Doing this will begin to boost your confidence and help you to realize that you are not on your own and there is nothing wrong with you.

I hope that helps.

Good Luck.  

Teenage Problems

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Daryl Taylor, BSc (Hons) Psychology, PGDip (pending certification)


My expertise covers everything and anything to do with growing up, being a teenager or a young adult or being the parent of one of the pre-described. I can cover issues on identity, sexuality, love, relationships, families, drug/alcohol abuse and anything and everything in between.


I have volunteered for AllExperts.com for over ten years now, but even before that I was trying to use my experience to help others by working with Advice4teens.co.uk, Teenadviceonline.org and even Lycos and Ask Jeeves. My experience comes from being a teenager primarily but this lead me to work with young people from the age of 13. I have worked front line, face to face and over the telephone, e-mail and webchat for a government department called Connexions UK (aimed at young people aged 13-19); as well as being student counselor in New York, a Peer Mentor, a student teacher and working for my school, college and University to help raise the aspirations of young people. My life has not been easy and I have been through my fair share of issues; so there is little that I haven't been through in reality opposed to just reading it from a book or from my academic studies. I have been featured as a case study as achieving through adversity for a number of magazines and I have featured in a couple of books on both sides of the Atlantic; even though I am UK based.

The Albert Kennedy Trust

Relationships: Cathy Senker, 2012, Raintree The Dean and Chapter Positive Nation GTEN Television Aim Higher

BSc(Hons) Psychology Post Graduate Diploma in Multidisciplinary Design Innovation Basic Counselling Skills Effective Listening Skills Mental Health First Aid

Awards and Honors
Outstanding Student achievement Adult learner's Award

Past/Present Clients
Allexperts.com Advice4teensuk.org Teenadviceonline.org lycos.co.uk askjeeves.com Connexions Direct

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