AboutDan Expertise I was once an expert on Askme.com, yet because askme is going out, I feel I can help people here. I am an expert in many areas of life, so why not try to be an expert here. State your ages with questions. I do not give medical advice online
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Expert: Dan Date: 10/9/2007 Subject: Hi Dan, I need some help here.
Question Hi Dan. We haven't talked in just about forever, and I'm sorry about that. How are you? I'm decent, but I need some advice here. I really would perfer you DON'T tell mom about this because she don't know.
Some refreshing/advice if you've forgotten any since we haven't spoke in a long time.. I am 18/Male/Sr. in High-School. I am mostly good and decent to a point, but lately I've been feeling soo different, and have been doing things I never really have done before. Not very social, etc..
A couple weekends ago I was home alone with my two friends Greg and Cody. Cody is my neighbor and we've been friends for about a year, and Greg has been a good friend for a couple years.
Well anyways they were both over and we were alone just playing games, watching TV, and messing around. It was around midnight; and I guess Greg ended up getting a phone call from his friend Ben asking what he was up to. Greg said we weren't doing much, and Ben asked if we wanted to come over to his house where they were having a little party. --> Now I've never been the type to drink any, or smoke much *cigarettes*, but there was going to be both at Ben's.
Greg don't have a car right now due to an accident, and Cody don't even have his licence, so only I could drive. We decided it was better than sitting around, and left for Ben's. We got there and there were only a few people were there, including my friend Zack that I knew from a year or 2 back, and in Elementary school. Well they all *including Cody/Greg* had some beer and got somewhat drunk. I had nothing because, as I said, I wasn't much interested in drinking alcohol and smoking often.
Well at about 2:00a.m. about 5 of us at the party *Ben,Cody,Tyler,Greg, and I* went to another party of Ben's friend, with me driving of course. We got there, and hung around for awhile before his mom started getting mad, etc. We left *me driving*, and we got back to Ben's. We stayed up a little longer and I only had 1/2 a beer and a couple smokes. We just stayed overnight there at Ben's because it was about 6:00a.m. when we got back to his house and we were all tired. Ben asked for my # so he can call and have me come over again sometime, so I gave it to him. Sadly; we only got 3 hours of sleep before we had to leave his house because of HIS mom coming home and didn't want company.. So because of that weekend, I had terrible sleep, then I had school all week.
Well during Thursday of last week, Ben called me asking what I was doing, and if I wanted to come over to his party he was having the next day *Friday*. So since I didn't want to be bored to death alone, I went. However; I couldn't get ahold of Cody, and Greg was at a game I guess.
Well this time at his party, there were about 10 of us, including Zack again so it wasn't too bad with him there. Of course Zack and I were like the only 2 that could drive, since everyone else either didn't have a car, or was drinking and smoking, etc. and we weren't. I don't mind being a Chauffer or whatever it's called, as long as I get gas money *which I do*..
After we got everyone to the party there was about 15 of us, including about 3-5 girls. Everyone there was drinking, smoking, etc. and many were saying I need to have some fun, so they were wanting me to drink, etc. I'm not really a Leader but more of a Follower and because of the Peer-Pressure, not wanting to look like a chicken, weaker than girls, etc, I did.
I had more cigarettes than I usually do, 5 beers, a drink of Vodka, and this time there was even weed there! I tried my best to avoid that, but they kept insisting I do, so I took one hit. Until they kept insisting, so I had 3 total..
Well we all stayed overnight there this weekend too, then Ben called me Sunday morning after I only got three hours of sleep, and asked me if I wanted to help him do some work because he had noone else to help him. I'm saving money, and because I need more, I accepted. I got $30 for helping him a couple hours; so he is NOT just having me over for partying, driving, etc..
Anyways the past 2 weeks I've been getting totaly lack of sleep, go to school, Cody come over, be on the phone with my friend Jamal until 11:30p.m. then get up at 6:30a.m. and do it all-over again in the same cycle.. It sucks, and it's terrible. Ben is wanting me to come to another party THIS weekend in 3 days. I like him and he's cool, but what am I supposed to do? I need sleep, I don't really enjoy smoking a lot, and drinking when I'm NOT used to it at all, driving all the time, etc..
To make matters worse; I'm having partial girl-problems, and I need help with that too. I'll just ask that in a different question though, since this was soo long. Thanks much, and I hope to hear back from you soon. -Matt-
Answer Hello Matt my friend,
I am so overloaded here it's not even funny. But, don't worry about me. I am going to help you the best I can. Let me review your question. Contact me whenever you like.
The peer pressure topic is a MAJOR part of psychology. It is so major that EVERYONE knows of this topic. The thing to remember is there is "GOOD" peer pressure and "BAD" PEER PRESSURE. The bad peer pressure is drugs, drinking, smoking, and so on. The good is acing a test for your friend or getting into Harvard, Yale, Stanford, or another top college because of your friends.
REMEMBER A FRIEND IS ONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOU AND PROTECTS YOU.
It sounds like this BEN just wants to have fun, even if it risks your health, safety and puts you in danger of the law. OK I rather see my self in JAIL than be dead because of a weed problem. I had a friend who died from weed. It's something that shouldn't have happened. It sounds to me like Ben isn't your friend.
REMEMBER MOST PEOPLE DO NOT DO DRUGS. 97 PERCENT OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DO NOT DO DRUGS. I KNOW YOU ARE BETTER THAN YOUR FRIEND BEN AND FOR THIS YOU SHOULD LEAD HIM TO A WAY OUT OF DOING DRUGS.
CHANGE YOUR FRIEND FOR THE BETTER. Your mother will be proud of you if you can get your friend to remove those careless and reckless behaviors. You can't change the past, yet you can change the future. You have the power to help Ben out. Maybe in this task he will become a real friend and when you succeed at removing his drug problems, he will thank you for this.
