AboutDan Expertise I was once an expert on Askme.com, yet because askme is going out, I feel I can help people here. I am an expert in many areas of life, so why not try to be an expert here. State your ages with questions. I do not give medical advice online
FAILURE TO INCLUDE AGES MAY RESULT IN FAILURE TO ANSWER(DECLINE QUESTION)
POST IN BEST AREA FOR YOUR QUESTION OR QUESTIONS.
Expert: Dan Date: 9/7/2007 Subject: my boyfriend LIKES to smoke and it eats away at me inside...
Question my boyfriend likes to smoke. he used to smoke weed, cigarettes, cigars, and smoke pipe tobacco. my father smoked since he was really young. it eventually killed him. i told my boyfriend that i wouldn't date him if he did these things because i promised myself i wouldn't be with someone who smokes. i dont want my kids around it in the house someday and i don't want my partner to die like my dad did. He did stop the drugs because he was tired of getting high and he said he wanted to grow up. he also said that he quit smoking period because he knew how i felt about it. we have been together for going on 9 months and we are in love. i live with him and his family because they are the family i never had. my sisters and i never got along and my parents are both dead. one day a few months ago we got in a fight and he said he had to go to his friends brian. i got mad and said i was leaving too. i really had nowhere to go and wanted to talk it out so i said got to brians when he did. i walked over to his car and explained i wanted to talk still. he told me no and to leave. i asked why and he told me he wanted a cigarette. i got really upset because he lied to me. he then told me since we have been dating he slipped up about 3 times. he said he would never do it again. then he said he was still going to have a cigar everytime his buddy came home from boarding school. thats only on breaks and holidays. i told him i didn't like that he did that and said it was hard to stop and i wouldn't know because i've never done it. he gets mean sometimes and he says it a craving. he was so mean once that i told him i don't care what you do anymore. so he came home with a pipe from the ren. fair saying that its just because it looked cool. he told me a story about brians brother smoking it and he DIDN'T. i kept asking him questions about it and he broke down and said that he smoked it and pipe tobacco isn't bad for you. i gave him money to even go to the renn. fair because he didn't have any, and bought that pipe! so we threw them out. i bought him nicotine gum. he chews it whenever he has a craving. but yesterday he says he wants to go to brians alone and i couldn't come. that worries me because hes lied to me so much about smoking that i don't trust him. so i asked him if he brought any gum and he said yes, i chewed one piece. and i said "i wont get mad honey, just tell me if you smoked. i just really wanna know. i know you've been under ALOT of stress lately. (and he has). then he said i smoked half a cigar with brian. i can't talk to anyone about it because my best friend will just hate him and i can't tell his parents! i just had a hunch all those times. its like i was paranoid and could smell it on his breath. i asked him if he ever wanted to quit and he said not really. i asked him if he wanted to quit for me and he said i HAVE to quit for you or you'll leave. he said he LIKES to smoke. he says he puts up with me i should put up with him smoking. i've even tried and its like i'm letting my dad and myself down. i am so desperate for advice. please tell me what to do?????!!!!!!
I'm 18. and a high school graduate.
My boyfriend is 17 and a senior in high school.
Answer Hi,
Did you date him at first knowing about this? RESPECT IS super important and if a relationship does not have respect it will not last long. Any type of smoking, or illegal drugs are bad for you. I hope you don't copy him into doing such again.
He's addicted to it partly because of his friends and partly because drugs are addicting. Our addiction area can maybe help.
Also try our:
Drug area
Smoking area
And Problems with friends area
My advice is take him over to a help place and go with him for treatment. He needs your support to change. If he doesn't want to change, he's clearly not right for you. He shouldn't be harming him self like this knowing it hurts you too.
