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Expert: Dan Date: 10/28/2007 Subject: My daughter's behavior
Question My daughter is 15 1/2 and has changed her behavior recently. Last night I came home from work while she was having a slumber party with two girlfriends. While I was gone they invited boys to the house and I caught them. By the time I confronted the girls at the back end of the house, the boys had left... I think out the window. My daughter and I have always gotten along well in the past. We used to be very close. Last summer she changed girlfriends and this new best friend is much more gregarious. My daughter lied to me about the boys at first until I told her I knew they were there because I saw the cars parked out front and I saw a boy standing at the front door. (As always, I came in the back door). I pulled my daughter aside and told her I knew she was lying to me and I didn't know if I could trust her anymore. I told her it really hurt my feelings that she lied to me. I have always been a good sport with her. She said that she felt like I didn't want her to even talk to a boy. I said that was not the case. I don't mind if she even has a boyfriend and that is fine with me. She is almost 16 but that no - I don't want her to get pregnant. She brought up that last summer her girlfriend's mother told her that I had asked her to watch the girls at the campground they were going to and not to let them go off with boys unsupervised. I said, that is because I am watching out for you. I want you to be supervised. I told her that if she wanted to invite boys over she could ask me and she doesn't have to lie and sneak around. She said she was sorry and she would not do it again. That they were not doing anything except hanging out and watching football. But, she has not been the same this school year with this new girlfriend. She is still on the honor-roll and so far there are no obvious signs of drug or alcohol usage. I am recently divorced. It has been about two years and I have to be away now for work when in the past I was a stay-at-home mom. I don't know what to do next to make things better. If I ground her, which I never had to do before... I've always just talked her, she might become worse. I'm not sure what my next best move is and I'm worried that my choice might make a big difference.
Answer Hi,
Expert Dan here. I recommend James Windell Parenting Teen expert here. If you need more help, please ask follow ups. Let James know I recommended him. Again if he can't help you, please ask follow ups. He's in my mind one of my greatest coworkers so I think he can help you.
