About Natasha Wallis Expertise If someone is experiencing problems with their gender and wishes to develop coping strategies to move forward, stay still or cope without changing gender, I should be able to provide some help. Also anyone who needs advice on how to pass, transition, have surgeries and live successfully as a woman will get valid sensible advice
Experience I am a postoperative ts woman who has been involved in personal development, motivation, life coaching and mentoring all my life. I have had extensive FFS and SRS surgery and am a senior moderator on some well known support sites. Designed and led "Why me? Am I transsexual" and Employer/employee Diversity Training Workshops.
Publications Msn & Yahoo Support Groups on matters relating to transsexual people.
Education/Credentials BA Biology; Personal Motivation Trainer; Qualified Mediator. Mentor
Awards and Honors Small Business Award Winner 1995
Question I am a 16 yr old crossdresser.I love women and is not a gay or a transgender.I live in India.I and my sister share same room.I used to dress as girl in frnt of her at night.She used to think it was bcoz of my childish behaviour.Recently i told my sister tht i am a crossdresser and doesnot dress for fun but am addicted to this.I told her tht i didnot need a sexchange but just want explore my feminine side and buy my own makeup and wig.She started to cry and told tht she knows tht it is not my fault and told me to control the urge for one week.After one week i again told her tht it was uncontrollable so she started to cry and said she cant allow mr to dress as this is unnatural.i told her tht i wont go out dressed but se kept telling tht it was unnatural so she cant allow it.She told this to her boyfriend also and both tell me to control my urge.after repeated request she allowed me to crossdress once a month but she stopped talking to me of the femine things as we did before and she has also become a bit rude.Plzz help what shall i do so tht she starts to help me in crossdressing.
with regards,
Anisha
Answer Anisha
It seems to me that you have a very pressing need to express yourself as a girl but at the same time you are in an awkward situation at home in you having to share very private space with your sister. You do not say how old she is?
It is perfectly normal for you to feel like the way you do, irrespective of whether you do it for comfort or for sexual reasons. If it is for comfort as I suspect it is, then you can no more give up needing to express yourself like this than stop breathing. If it is for sexual purposes then clearly it should whilst your sister is out of the house.
You do not say whether you have discussed this with any other members of your family and what they say, though I rather think the instigator of this pressure you are under is not your sister but her boyfriend who clearly does not wish to be supportive of you or your needs.
Your sister knows you to be a good kid and has obviously trusted you in the past but the boyfriend might even be jealous of the bond you two have and so is trying to turn her against you in some way of course.
You need to ask your sister not to discuss this matter with anyone else, especially her boyfriend, and in return, you could agree to not wear girls' clothes whilst she is around in the bedroom. If she is going out with her boyfriend then that is the time for you to be the girl you need to be. Of course, inside your own head, you can always be who you want to be with or without clothes and they can never take that away from you.
I am based in the UK and so my understanding of Indian Culture is not very good but I do know there is a very proud tradition in India of the Hijras. If there are any Hijras in your town, perhaps you could ask them for some extra advice on this subject.
And darling, you ARE Transgender since you have a wish to express yourself in a different gender to that of your birth. I can also tell you that your need to be a woman part of your time will always be with you right through until old age, so getting used to it for someone so young might be the biggest issue at present. And that is for you and you understand the feelings. Your sister and her boyfriend have no idea as to how you feel and never will because they are what is called Cisgender, rather than Transgender.
There really is nothing however to worry about or feel ashamed of. Your need to express a female self is natural as is your future interest in men or women as life partners.
To discover more about your gender and your sexuality, might I suggest you look at this website:
As regards getting tips on how to look feminine, just look at any women's magazine. YouTube has loads of videos on make-up tips and quite a few cross dressers post on there too.
