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About Trey McGowan
Expertise
I am able to answer questions about transexual and transgender issues of many kinds, but in particular those tilted toward the FTM (Female-To-Male) transgender. I can offer tips for dressing, passing, binding, packing, behavior, and the like for both drag and full lifestyle. I may also be able to offer some help with finding local peer groups, should you be interested in peer counseling. Sexuality issues, MTF (male-to-female), and other gender issues can also be touched on and I may be able to help.
I am not a professional (I repeat: I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL!) but I can also offer some general peer counseling suggestions and help with finding groups for all branches of gender identification and sexuality. If you are in need of finding a professional, I may be able to find a name in your area to help.
Experience
I am personally FTM transgender, living full-time and accepting of my gender identity. I have not yet been through operations (so am unable to offer personal experience on most of these). I have been part of a number of groups, though moving has kept discussions to long distance since then. I am well-studied for a great many years in this area, having begun reading up on it when I first identified and having kept up on it since then. I have no medical credentials in the area of gender counseling but have been part of multiple peer counseling groups.
Organizations
Knox Boyz (FTM peer support group)
Nashville T'men (FTM peer support group)
Education/Credentials
I have completed grade school, some high school, and my GED.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Transgender/Transsexual > conflicting fantasies
Expert: Trey McGowan - 8/24/2008
Question
I'm 17 years old and I often crossdress. but lately I've been thinking of what my next step should be. I do think about being with a woman and loving her, but on the other hand I fantasies about being a woman with a man and having him take me and love me. I'm just so confessed I only told a close friend about how I feel. my parents are still in the dark. One on hand I have being a man and loveing a woman on the other i have Being a woman and loveing a man and well I need some advice and incite on my problem.
thanks for taking time to help me out ^^
Answer
Hello there, Ryan!
I wish that there could be a more definitive answer in the cards than I'm going to give you, but really, the only one that I can give you is 'You do what is right for you'. Obviously, though, you are having difficulties with 'what is right for you'. My suggestion for this situation is that you discuss the matter with a specialist and see if you can't get some help with working out what the big conflict is.
I expect that, for you, the best thing you could do for yourself is to truly consider your fantasies. See if you are feeling one of them more 'genuinely' than the other, or if they are both of the same sort of strength. Perhaps experiment a little bit with your own self to try and find that next step. Go out to a transgender-friendly bar and see how you feel about the people there. Join a picnic or other social with a local GLBT group. Go out as a boy and have some time with girls.
You are still young, and confusion is not an uncommon thing at all! So if you have been feeling that you were alone with these conflicting feelings, mark my words: there are quite a few others out there who have had them in a lot of different ways, and sometimes all it takes is a little time in which to find out what's right. Hopefully there is an expert in the area who can help you through the hardest parts, where this 'expert' can only give a few general helpful hints.
Questions, comments, feedback, follow-ups, et cetera, are always welcome!
Trey
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