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About Mike Hernandez
Expertise
I can answer questions that pertain to transition, coming out, dating, surgical options, etc., related to FTMs (female to male) and genderqueer individuals with a masculine gender expression.
Experience
I'm FTM who started transition in 1991. I have published articles and have spoken at colleges and universities on being and living as a transgendered individual. I have also presented workshops at a variety of FTM/transgendered conferences including FTM Conference of the Americas (1995-1997), Southern Comfort (late 1990s) Forward Motion (1999), Gender Odyssey (2000, 2004), and Forge (2007). I was one of several organizers of the Forward Motion conference.
Organizations
Former boardmember of FTM Alliance of Los Angeles, Inc.
Publications
"Transgendered Lust " appearing in From the Inside Out: Radical Gender Transformation, FTM and Beyond by Morty Diamond (San Francisco: Manic Press, 2004)
A contribution to Bears on Bears by Ron Suresha (San Francisco: Alyson Publications, 2002);
"Redemption" appearing in Best Lesbian Erotica, ed. Tristan Taormino (San Francisco: Cleis Press 2001); Best of the Best Lesbian Erotica 2 , ed. Tristan Taormino (San Francisco: Cleis Press 2004); originally appearing in Academy: Tales of the Market Place by Laura Antoniou (New York: Mystic Rose Books, 2000);
Appearance in Transmen & FTMS: Identities, Bodies, Genders & Sexualities by Jason Cromwell (University of Illinois Press, 1999);
"I Am Neither Man Nor Woman" Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue, ed. Leslie Feinberg (Boston: Beacon Press, 1998);
"Holding My Breath Under Water" Looking Queer , ed. Dawn Atkins (Boston: Hayworth Press, 1998);
"Boundaries: Gender and Transgenderism," The Second Coming , eds. Pat(rick) Califia and Robin Sweeney (San Francisco: Alyson Publications, 1996); and
# "Packing, Passing & Pissing," Dagger , eds. Lily Burana, Roxxie, and Linnea Due (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 1994).
Education/Credentials
Post graduate.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Transgender/Transsexual > questions pertaining to transgender issues
Expert: Mike Hernandez - 8/23/2008
Question
Well,first off I normally don't ask for help so I don't know where to start. I am 20 years old and I am transgender, have been my whole life. My mom and sister along with my friends know this, but I live with my dad and step family and have never told them. We are no where near being close and I think that they might think that I am gay or are to blind-sided by their religious beliefs to see it. I've been wanting to tell them for a year now but just don't know how to do it. I also am afraid that if I told them they would not let me live here any more due to their strong religious beleifs and I'd have no where to go. I was wondering if there was an easy way of telling them without having to worry about that. Because I eventually want to get a sex-change to become the man I am inside. The thing is I cant start hormones and develope the male feature without them knowing. Also do you know where I can get chest binders I live in the state of michigan and recently found out about them. Thank you for taking time to read this
Answer
Dear Angela:
Here is a site that deals with binding and has information regarding vendors. http://www.ftmguide.org/binding.html I found it by doing a google search for "ftm chest binders".
As for telling your dad and step family, I would suggest that you say nothing just yet.
There's really no easy way to tell and almost impossible to predict the response. They could surprise you and actually be accepting, but since rejection could be accompanied by being thrown out of the house, you really need to have a place to stay in the event of a worst case scenario. Since you are over the age of majority, is it possible to live with your Mom? Do you have the ability to move out?
Michigan has a couple of support groups at the University of Michigan
Michigan
Michigan FtM (broad spectrum definition) support group welcomes SOFFAs. Meets alternate Sundays at 1 p.m. in Room 441 of the MSU Student Union. For information,
contact Kevin O'Malley at (517) 267-7659.
Transgendered support group at Michigan State University includes SOFFAs and meets alternate Tuesdays and Sundays. Call Lisa Lees at (517) 333-9641, or Kevin O'Malley at (517) 267-7659.
Hope that this helps.
Regards,
Mike
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